Caring is Creepy
by Kronoskingofthemonkeypeople
Summary: HOUSE..DOCTOR WHO CROSSOVER. A patient is stuck by lighting but her only symptom is blindness. House finds it excruciatingly boring but who is this mysterious man in the pinstipe suit?
1. Chapter I

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter I**

Thump.

Dr House woke up in a start. Lifting up his heavy arm he rubbed his face clumsily and stared at the blurry figure in front of him.

"Why aren't you on your vacation?"

House twitched at the high pitched noise as the blurry figure started to take the shape of Cuddy standing in front of his desk. Dropping down his arm House gazed blankly around his office as he leant forward in his chair, instinctively slipping his other hand in his jeans pockets to check how many Vicodin he had left. He glanced up at Cuddy as she continued to glare at him, hands on hips.

"I have you a first-class ticket to Vancouver House, what the hell are you still doing here?!"

House slowly sat up in his chair as he stiffly moved his right leg forward as the pain began to shoot up his leg. "I realised Vancouver was in Canada."

"You were supposed to go on vacation House!" Cuddy continued to stare at House in disbelief. "You were supposed to find a bit of happiness or something. Do you know how much that ticket cost me?"

"I'll give you the chicken and throw in some beans with it too."

"House," Cuddy sighed "What are you doing here?"

House taped his fingers on the table as he blew his cheeks in and out and looked around the office. "I ran out of Vicodin at home so I came here to refill."

"You _stole_ from the pharmacy?" Cuddy looked at him in utter disbelief.

"_No_, I keep a few bottles around the office like any normal drug addict would do."

"So you crashed here after a Vicodin-fuelled haze?" Cuddly asked in disappointment.

"The only holidaying I need!" House smiled.

Cuddy sighed then nodded to the file on his desk she had thrown down. "You've got a case. Go cure her."

"What are the symptoms?" House sat comfortably in his seat and joined his hands together.

"Lighting storm last night, though you probably wouldn't have noticed. 28-year old female stuck by lightning as she walked outside with an umbrella."

"Walking outside in the middle of a lighting storm with an umbrella? She's beyond hope." House pulled out his bottle of Vicodin from his pocket and popped one into his hand, swallowing it with a gulp. "But why do you need me? She's already been diagnosed. Act Of God."

Cuddy shook her head softly then folded her arms. "She was blinded."

"Huh," House feigned a look of fake curiosity. "I wonder why that happened? Maybe because she was stuck by an outrageous amount of electricity, hurtling from the sky?"

Cuddy smiled lightly. "Her occipital region's clean. In fact, her whole brain is free of damage or scaring. Same with her heart." Cuddy walked over to the door. "She's perfectly healthy, but she can't see."

"She's faking it." House glared at Cuddy as she opened the office door.

"Whatever you say House." Cuddy sighed then walked out the door, leaving House in his thoughts.

There was a strange noise in the background, some sort of rumbling or churning. House swivelled his chair around to stare out the window as the rain continued to tap on the glass. Glancing over at the chart on the table, House looked at it for a second then swerved back round and picked it up.

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Shifting his way through the bustling crowd of the ER House walked to the end of the large room where a curtain was drawn around one of the gurneys. Looking though his chart grudgingly House snapped it shut and waddled to the curtain and drew it open with his cane.

House froze in surprise.

Over the sleeping woman on the gurney was a man in a brown trench coat, holding some sort of buzzing blue light thing to the woman's head. As House drew the curtain over the man quickly turned the thing off and looked in surprise at House.

"Ah…" The man stumbled in surprise.

"What the hell are you doing to my patient?" House looked at the man as he continued to hold his cane up against the curtain.

"Just, routine…brain wave check. You're her doctor?" The man asked with a British accent as he stuffed a hand in his pocket and scratched his head. House dropped his cane and leaned on it, staring curiously at the man as he stared back at him.

"No, I just have a fetish for sick people. Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor." The man replied coolly as he stuffed his other hand in his pocket.

"I thought I said _I _was the Doctor." House wadded forward slightly.

"No, that's my name. 'The Doctor'." The man smiled.

"What, people just call you 'the Doctor'?" House raised his eyebrow sceptically.

"Yup." The man smiled again.

"Right," House rolled his eyes. "You're going to stick out like a sore thumb in this place. What were you doing with my patient?"

"She can't see." The Doctor looked at him seriously.

"Wow! You can read a patient's chart." House waddled over to the bed and brought out his penlight. "You're almost as good as me!" House leaned over the sleeping woman and opened her eyelid, shining the light in.

"So," The Doctor continued as he stared to pace slightly. "What's your theory about getting blinded by lightning? The human body is an amazing thing but you guys can't handle spark from the toaster let alone a 500-mega joule charge hurtling straight for your umbrella. But it seems she can. A line of electricity from the ground to the sky and she was in the centre of – "

"Do you enjoy listening to the sound of your own voice?" House growled as he looked up from the patient.

"A bit." The Doctor replied weakly as he was cut down.

House grumbled and stood up straight. "Well, I've got serious doctor stuff to do with this patient, so you mind checking yourself into the psychiatric ward or wherever you belong?"

The Doctor looked at House sternly. "That woman got stuck by lightning and all she has to show for it is loss of sight. Don't you find that curious?"

"Not at all." House smiled.

The Doctor studied House intently when suddenly the curtain was drawn open again.

"House…" Cuddy looked over at the Doctor as he smiled at her. "Ah," She looked at him curiously. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor." He pulled out his psychic paper and held it in front of Cuddy. "I was put on Miss Williams' case by one of her father's friends."

"Oh!" Cuddy stared at the blank paper. "Of course, Doctor. Your friend didn't ring to tell me. But I'm sorry, I've already put Dr House on the case." House smirked at the Doctor.

"Oh," The Doctor beamed as he shoved his hands into his pockets again. "I don't mind working with him."

House glared at the smiling Doctor and puffed out his cheeks in thought. "Ok then." He sharpened his gaze at the Doctor. "Let's round up the Ducklings!"

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**NB: Why am I doing this? No idea. Fantastic! Anywho, if your wondering this is set after the most recent episode of House ("Fetal Position") and in between "Runaway Bride" and "Smith and Jones" for Dr Who, so the Doctor is alone. **

**But yeah, I knew this was going to happen some time. The Doctor and House are my favourite characters ever and they're so much alike, so I hope this is going to be good fun! Even though I don't think anyone's going to read this. Thus: if there's anyone out there, anyone at all: PLEASE REVIEW!!! Without reviews I'm just a stagnant piece of goo who clogs up arteries and eats. Seriously. **


	2. Chapter II

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter II**

"Woman stuck by lightning: Go!"

Cameron, Chase and Foreman looked up from the table as House shoved open the glass door and stampeded into the office. The Doctor shuffled into the room behind House and looked around his surroundings.

Foreman looked confused at the Doctor then back to House. "Ah, do you want us to find out why she was struck?"

The ducklings looked at House in confusion then to the Doctor who had wandered over to the shelf and picked up the model brain to play with curiously.

"She questioned the existence of Martha Stewart." House picked up the white board marker and wrote on the board. "28 year old female admitted with blindness."

The Doctor put the brain back then wandered aimlessly to the sink and opened the bottom cupboard and looked in. Chase looked at him curiously then shot back to House. "Ah, you don't think maybe the lightning caused the blindness?"

House turned to the ducklings. "Her CT was clean of scaring and the echo revealed no damage."

The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver from his pocket and scanned the coffee machine with his sonic screwdriver, hit it lightly then poured himself a coffee. Cameron looked at House sceptically as she crossed her arms. "So you think the lighting only stuck her eyes or someth… – sorry, who are you?"

Everyone looked at the Doctor as he sniffed at the coffee then sneered lightly. Realising that everyone was now staring at him the Doctor looked at the others and smiled, putting his cup on the counter and pulled up a chair at the table. "I'm the Doctor, I've come to help."

"What do you specialise in?" Foreman asked curiously.

"Oh, you know: Various…doctor stuff." The Doctor cleared his throat slightly. "The patient's friend – "

"I thought it was the father's friend." House snapped suspiciously.

"Same thing." The Doctor dismissed him. "I was just, passing by and this case popped up. And now I'm intrigued."

"What's so intriguing about it?" Foreman leaned crossed his arm as he leaned back in his chair. "The patient is blind. Since there was is absolutely no damage to any other part of her body the blindness is obviously unrelated."

"Good point!" The Doctor piped up enthusiastically as he leaned forward, cutting off House as he was about to reply. "Excellent point in fact ah – sorry, what's your name?"

"Foreman."

"Foreman, brilliant point! But apart from that you're completely wrong. The odds of the patient surviving getting stuck by lightning and inconsequently losing her sight are enormous. About, 983521: 1 in fact."

Cameron raised her eyebrows in impression. The others just stared at the Doctor blankly.

"Could be cancer." Chase managed to pipe out.

"_Right_," House looked at the Doctor suspiciously then back at Chase. "Cause a CT which ruled out all scaring and damage to the brain obviously was inconclusive about the whereabouts of any tumours hanging out in the occipital lobe."

"What do you think it is?" Cameron looked at House inquisitively.

"I think she's faking it. But that's just me."

"Why did you take the case then?" Cameron asked.

"Cuddy felt the need to stretch out her sadistic tendencies today. Therefore: pathetic excuse for a case."

"Hold on," Chase looked confused. "Weren't you supposed to be on a holiday or something?"

"Ah," House put down the pen. "Flight was booked. And I realised I was 43 hours behind clinic duty. There's no chance I would have left all that work for you guys to catch up on." His ducklings glared at him blankly as he waddled over to his own office. "Go poke her eyes with a stick or something. Scare her into compliance then discharge her."

The Doctor watched House open the door to his office then waddle in when suddenly a loud beeping noise filled the room. And another, another. House looked back at the others as they quickly picked up their pages.

Code Blue room 302.

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**NB: BA BA BA!!! Sorry bout the shortness of the chapter but I hope it's good. Right, so basically I'm currently depressed. Because my ipod (aka: my life and soul, my precciousss) is broken. And I mean completely fucked. So I'm depressed. And my internet doesn't seem to be working properly. And Doctor Who and House only have one episode a week, not seven. You know what would make my day so amazingly better? REVIEWS!! That's right! So pull me out of my ditch of dark and twistyness – Review!!**


	3. Chapter III

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter III**

Cameron ran into the patient's room as Chase and Foreman followed closely by as she looked anxiously at the nurse by the patient's bed then up at the stat monitor as it displayed only a flat line, the piercing screech cutting the room.

"What happened?" Cameron said quickly as she watched the nurses quickly roll in the crash cart.

"I don't know." Answered the flustered nurse. Cameron checked the patient's pulse. Chase glanced over his shoulder as the Doctor walked into the room, hands in pockets as he looked gravely at the patient.

"She just was having seizure," Continued the nurse. "A Gran-Mal seizure and then she suddenly flat-lined."

The nurses quickly swerved the cart over to the bed and Cameron grabbed the paddles as Foreman opened the patient's gown.

"300!"

One of the nurses charged the defibrillator. Cameron quickly brought the paddles down on the patient's chest and shocked her. The patient's body stiffened and lifted up off the bed. Cameron looked up at the monitor again. Nothing.

"Charge to 360!"

Cameron shocked patient again as her body leaped uncontrollably. Nothing.

"Charge again!"

The Doctor looked at the patient curiously as the nurse once more charged the defibrillator and Cameron once again shocked the patient. Cameron quickly shot her eyes to the screen.

There was a beep.

And another.

And another.

The whole room let out a sigh of relief as Foreman gladly put down the ready syringe of epinephrine. As he put the syringe back in the draw he looked up curiously to see the Doctor walk up to the end of the bed and fold back the sheet to expose her feet. Studying them for a second, the Doctor bend down slowly and sniffed her big toe, a smile beginning to spread on his face.

"What the hell are you doing?" Foreman looked in disbelief.

"You!" The Doctor looked up at Chase as he stood in the corner, joining everyone else as they stared at the Doctor in utter confusion. "Take a whiff of this."

"Uh uh." Chase quickly shook his head. "You're not getting me to do that again."

"Just smell it." The Doctor waved him over.

With folded arms Chase reluctantly walked over to the bed and quickly sniffed at the patient's feet, pulling away as quickly as he could.

"Ah," Chase quickly snuffed his nose with his hand. "Smells like burnt fuses."

The Doctor looked back down at the feet curiously. Cameron watched him carefully as she saw his face turn grave slightly, a look of sadness growing in his eyes.

"The smell's probably caused by the lightning." She piped up. "The feet acted as a grounding for the electricity. She probably had some metal in the soles of her shoes, like a tac or something."

"Excellent theory." The Doctor looked up quickly at Cameron and smiled. "But I don't know, it might not be…" The Doctor looked back at the patient's feet.

"I've smelt this somewhere before."

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"What makes a woman blind, gives her Gran-Mal seizures then brings her into cardiac arrest?"

"What happened to the useless excuse of a patient?" Cameron raised her eyebrows at House who stood by the whiteboard as she sat down at the tables with the others. The Doctor pulled off his trench coat and threw it over onto one of the free chairs, quickly opening up on of the bottom cupboards under the sink and pulled out an old jar of jam.

"She started dying." House popped his eyebrows up then turned to the board and wrote down the symptoms. "_So_, no one seems to have answered me. What, do you think I'm being rhetorical here?"

"Could be some sort of delayed reaction to the lightning strike." Chase attempted.

House just stared at him blankly. "Seriously?"

"Or," Foreman interjected "It could be what I said before. The blindness and everything else is unrelated to the lightning strike. We should give her a CT to rule out cancer once and for all."

"What is with you and brain cancer Foreman?" House leant on his cane. "It's almost like you're a neurologist."

"What about the feet?" The Doctor put down the now half-eaten jar of jam.

"She has feet?"

"Her feet smelled like blown fuses. Almost like some sort of ionic residue. You don't think that counts as a symptom?"

"You do?" House raised his eyebrow.

"The feet could indicate some sort of infection." Cameron jutted in as House and the Doctor began to stare at each other. "It caused the blindness first then the feet then the seizure and the cardiac arrest. We should do an LP."

"Ok then." House put the whiteboard marker down. "Foreman, go play with the CT; Cameron, do the LP to rule out infection; Chase, get yourself a cardiogram cause it seems we're going from organ to organ and you…" House pointed at the Doctor. "You go prance around somewhere at least 20 feet away from me at all times. I have a bum leg and I know how to use it."

The Doctor smiled lightly then got up from leaning on the sink and walked out of the office with the others, leaving House alone as he stared at the whiteboard in thought, fist clenched to his mouth as he munched over on his cane. Studying the board for a second, House slowly picked up the white board marker and wrote another symptom.

**Bionic Feet**

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**NB: Yey!! New Doctor tomorrow!!!! On a scale from one to ecstatic guess what I am: ecstatic!!! Shakespeare woot!! And then House on tues, with the Chase and Cameron moment I've been waiting for – teeheeheehee!! – No, I'm far from a Chameron fan; I'm just a sadistic bastard. **

**But anywho, hope you're liking the story. One reviewer (no details to reply back to) asked me if I could do a Doctor/Grey's crossover. I've already done a House/Grey's one and now I'm doing this, so I guess it's inevitable, but you never know, I might even do a House/West Wing one before that (Tennant's a no. one West Wing fan! – #swoon#)**

**Anywho, am currently rambling. Why? Cause I can! Muhahaha!! But yes, if you hate this, if you mildly dislike or if you're slightly warming to it: REVIEW!! It's all I need. Besides House. And Doctor Who. And West Wing. And Grey's. And food for that matter. Rambling again. Right, shall stop. REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter IV

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter IV**

Cameron walked down the hall towards Lauryn Williams' room. Through the blinds up on the glass walls she could see Lauryn propped up on her bed as seven people, who she presumed to be her family and friends, surrounded her bed and smiled and talked. Coming up to the door, Cameron slid open the door a bit then peered in, knocking on the glass politely.

"Miss Williams?"

The patient looked up from the bed and smiled weakly. "Call me Lauryn."

"Ok Lauryn," Cameron opened the door wider and walked in. "I'm Dr Cameron. Would it be alright if your visitors go somewhere else for a while, I've got to perform a test."

"Sure." The man next to Lauryn who Cameron presumed to be her father stood up. He looked back down at Lauryn and stocked back her hair kindly. "We'll be back soon. Just grab some lunch."

Lauryn smiled mildly as everyone got up from the bed and their chairs, all patting her or stroking her hair as they said goodbye and walked out.

As the last of them left, Cameron called in the nurse and walked up to the bed.

"We have to give you and Lumbar Puncture to test for infection." Cameron got the cart off the nurse and rolled it to the other side of the bed. "Basically we have to get some of your spinal fluid. So if you could just roll onto your side and tuck your head to your knees. I'm sorry, but it will be painful."

"That's fine." Lauryn sighed as she rolled on her side and faced the nurse who held her knees up. Looking out the window she could see the last of her visitors walked away. "I tell you, family!"

Cameron looked over at Lauryn as the prepared the needle. "I mean, it's great that they're here and everything." Lauryn continued. "Except when you're stuck in a room with them for a prolonged period of time it's kind of…painful."

"They're all your family?" Cameron looked surprised.

"Catholic." Lauryn said dully.

Cameron nodded in understanding. "So you Catholic too?"

"Ha!" Lauryn snorted. "Blood and flesh of Christ?" She peered over to Cameron. "Slightly cannibalistic, don't you think?"

Cameron smiled to herself then slowly brought the needle to Lauryn's back. Suddenly Lauryn suddenly started to cough and splutter. Quickly Cameron put down the needle and looked over at Lauryn, pulling back her hair as she coughed louder.

"Are you ok?" Cameron looked closely at her as her coughing began to subside.

"Fine." Lauryn wiped her mouth. "Just a cough."

"That cardiac arrest must have weakened your immune system. I'm going to up your antibiotics after this so you don't get another infection."

"Thanks." Lauryn said weakly as Cameron moved back to her side of the bed and picked up the needle again. Feeling for the space between the vertebrae with her fingers, Cameron held the space still then brought the needle to her skin, puncturing through as Lauryn let out a muffled yell.

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"But what happens if I _don't_ have 9 months?"

Wilson looked down at his feet as his patient sat on the clinic bed, staring at him angrily.

"I will get you into the trials." Wilson looked up. "I promise you that. All you have to do is keep on your course of treatment, I know you can survive this."

"But what if I don't…What if – "

Suddenly there was a crash as the door to the examination room opened. The patient looked up surprised as a man with a cane waded into the room then slammed the door closed, walking past Wilson then leaning on the wall as he took out his red lollipop from his mouth and folded his arms in waiting.

Wilson just closed his eyes in pain and shook his head lightly. "House." He said slowly. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Need to talk to you." House put his lollipop back in his mouth and crossed his arms again.

"Can't you see I'm with a patient?" Wilson turned around in his chair to look at House.

"It can wait." House dismissed.

"No it can't!"

"Is he dying?"

"Yes!" The patient shouted at House.

"Ooo!" House quivered in fake fright. "Feisty!" Walking over to Wilson he quickly pulled his chart out of his hand and flicked through it. "Ha. Nup, you're very much alive." House chucked the chart over to Wilson. "You're going on a medical trial. You'll live. Wilson: talk."

"No." Wilson crossed his arms. "You need to leave."

"Oh, can't I stay? Pretty please?" House begged insincerely.

"No."

"I'll leave!" The patient hopped off the bed and walked to the door. "And I'm going to report you." He opened the door and walked out.

"The name's Foreman!" House called out the door. "With an 'e'!"

House closed the door then wandered over to the bed and plunked himself on it, legs swinging as he watched Wilson stand up and put the file away in another pile.

"What do you want House?" Wilson crossed his arms as he turned back around and faced him angrily.

"Like I said, I need to talk."

"You haven't thought about buying yourself a mirror? It would save a huge chunk of my time and maintain your narcissism a lot better."

"Nah, I need the human connection." House stuffed his lollipop back in his mouth.

"Do you _enjoy_ scaring off my patients?"

"Yes."

"You're a sadistic jerk."

"Yeah, I think we've gathered that by now."

Wilson sighed then sat down on his chair and crossed his arms. "So what is it?"

"This new doctor."

"You got a new doctor?"

"Cuddy assigned him. He calls himself 'the Doctor'. "

"And you're worried he's stealing your precious ego? Trust me House, there's enough there to feed a small country." Wilson got up from the chair and opened the door to walk out. House quickly hopped off the bed and followed him out.

"He's English." House moved up besides Wilson as they walked down the hall.

"Oh, well, that's got to be it. Feeling a bit revolutionary are we?"

"He waltzes in, steals my patient…"

"I thought you didn't want the patient."

"That's not the point! It's not my fault she started to die. My point is, there's an English doctor in this hospital who's consorting with my lackeys, stealing my case, suggesting symptoms and prancing round like English people do. He holds up a blank piece of paper to Cuddy and suddenly he's hired!"

"You don't think he slept with her?" Wilson asked with feigned interest.

"I don't think he's that desperate." House bit his lip in thought. "But it is interesting."

"Well, if your case turns out to be a dud you'll always have him to dissect."

"Yes, my life is complete." House stopped as they approached his office.

"Well, thank god for that." Wilson mumbled as he continued to walk on down the hall.

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Cameron put down the hatch of the centrifuge and moved to the computer to start it up. As the whir began to fill up the room, Cameron heard the door to the lab open and turned around to see the Doctor walk in, hands in pockets as he looked around the equipment.

"What's up?" He looked over to her.

"Just checking the LP now." Cameron turned back to the computer and typed more in. The Doctor continued to look around the room with interest when suddenly he stopped at a microscope.

"Oh, look at this!" He exclaimed in excitement as he put on his glasses and looked through the microscope then scanned it with his sonic screwdriver. "What a beauty! I haven't seen one of these for years!"

Cameron looked up at him in confusion. "What do you mean? We just got that last month. We're the first hospital to have it on the east cost."

"Ah!" The Doctor said awkwardly, scratching his head. "Well, you know I dabbled in…medical research equipment."

The Doctor walked over to Cameron and sat down next to her, hunching over the counter as he rested his fists. "So you think it's an infection?"

"It's better than anything else. What do you think it is?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. _Yet_."

Cameron looked over at the Doctor from the computer. "So what are you doing here Doctor?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you usually hang about in random hospitals?"

"Well, I am a Doctor." The Doctor smiled. "But I was just passing through and happened to stumbled across this case."

"Alone?"

"What?"

"Well, you suddenly turn up here and join us on this case and you don't even tell anyone your real name. Don't you have a fellow or practice or something?"

Suddenly the Doctor's eyes went cold. "I did…I had a friend…who travelled with me. Rose…but, gone now."

Cameron looked awkward. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. She's alive. She's happy." The Doctor forced a smiled.

Suddenly a beep broke the silence. Cameron checked the computer as the calibrator began to slow down. The test was completed.

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**NB: Expeliamus!!!! LOL!! Gold, absolute gold. Anywho, enough of that for now: onto this chapter! As you probably noticed this chappy was for fleshing out some stuff, so I hope you didn't get too bored. And it was long! I mean, for me. Statistically it's the longest chapter of this story so far so you should be happy bout that. Anywho, the Doctor's still crushed about Rose, which we all know he will be for some time, and House doesn't like the Doctor. Not like that wasn't expected. And House didn't fall for the psychic paper! That's right, he might not have said anything about it in the first chapter, but he didn't see anything. Cause he's a genius. And we all know that.**

**Anywho, please review!! The more feedback I get the more I want to make this fic better and better. Otherwise you'll be left with this crap forever! MUAHAHAHA!! Going to watch "Shakespeare Code" again. No life? Yes!**


	5. Chapter V

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter V**

"Her LP was inconclusive."

Cameron walked into the office as Chase was sitting at the table and House was making himself another coffee. The Doctor followed Cameron in and sat down at the table.

"By _inconclusive_ you mean negative?" House sharpened his gaze at Cameron as he waddled over to the whiteboard.

"No, I mean inconclusive. For everything."

"Was there any point in doing the LP then? A whole LP can't be inconclusive, she must be negative for something."

Cameron sat down and chucked the file down on the table. "Every test was inconclusive."

House looked at the file then quickly picked it up, flicking through the pages. "Do the LP again." House grumbled.

"I did. Twice."

House looked up at Cameron then threw the file back to the table, turned around and circled 'infection' on the whiteboard.

"You think something might have tampered with the test?" The Doctor moved forward in his chair and looked up at House.

"I think if something was affecting it, the only way to find it would be through and LP, and we all know how that'll turn out."

"Something could have tampered with her genetic structure." The Doctor mumbled to himself.

"What?" House looked at him suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing…just blabbing out whatever. What if – " The Doctor stood up and wandered over to the board, staring to talk faster. "What if the test wasn't inconclusive? What if the fact that the test was inconclusive is trying to say that something is seriously wrong in this girl? The LP is taken from the fluid in the spinal chord, what if something, some external factor, some sort of virus, is affecting her spinal fluid?"

"I liked it better when you played with the coffee machine. You were a lot stupider and stole none of my ideas." House turned his back on the Doctor and glared at the whiteboard. "_So_, we know it's not cancer and the cardiogram was clean. What causes blindness, cardiac arrest, seizures and an inconclusive LP?"

"I was right."

House looked up to see Foreman enter the office, triumphant as he held up a CT film.

"The statistics are in Foreman, you're never right."

Foreman continued to smile as he strutted into the room. "It's cancer."

"It can't be." House continued to glare at him.

Foreman rolled over the viewer and slapped on the films. "It is." He turned on the light.

Immediately the Doctor chucked on his glasses and moved all the way up to the glowing CT scans, squinting as he tried to get the picture of the brain in focus. House looked at the scans gravely then snapped over to Foreman.

"They're the wrong scans."

"They're the right scans." Foreman crossed his arms smugly.

"Ok then, the first scan was the wrong one."

"Nope, that was right too."

House sharpened his gaze at Foreman then looked back at the scans as the Doctor moved back slightly, put his hands in his pockets and remained silent.

"Then it's a cist, the infection got to her brain. It's full of liquid."

"Cameron upped her dose of antibiotics before the CT and look at the films, look at the sides of this thing. It's a tumour."

House gripped his cane tighter and looked back at Foreman, glaring at him with firm resolution.

"It is _not_ cancer!"

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"It's cancer."

Wilson chucked the CT scans back on his office table as House, Foreman and the Doctor crowded around his desk, waiting for his answer.

"What do you mean it's cancer?" House erupted as Foreman began to gloat at the corner of his eye. "These symptoms can't be related to cancer! It's completely illogical!"

"I don't know House," Wilson remained nonchalant. "The fact that the poor girl's got it in her brain might indicate why things seem to be stuffing up."

"But she got blind before that thing popped up! She had her cardiac arrest and seizures before that thing popped up!"

Wilson crossed his arms and leant back in his chair. "But it is there and it is cancer."

"No it's not! Cancer doesn't grow that fast! It doesn't suddenly _appear_ magically!"

"If you're so sure it's not cancer, get a biopsy."

"Fine!"

"Ah – " The Doctor quickly jutted in as House turned for the door. Everyone looked at him curiously. "I wouldn't do that."

"Why?" House snapped.

"Because that thing's not cancer."

"The good ship arse kisser has already set sail far away."

"And, to be honest, I'm very glad of it." The Doctor stuffed his hands in his pockets. "But that's not cancer. Nor is it a cist. We have no idea what this thing is so if we stick a needle in it who knows how much worse this thing could get."

Exactly!" House cried out again. "We don't know what this thing is! That's _why_ we're going to stick a needle in it!"

Suddenly there was a sound behind them.

Everyone swerved round to see Chase standing at the door, his face completely devoid of colour as his hand fell limply from the handle of the door.

"Cameron…" He stared blankly in front of him. "She ah…the family too…but she's…we have to go into quarantine."

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**NB: Ahaha! So what's going on here then? Quarantine? Cameron? You'll just have to wait for the next chapter! And you probably expected that I suppose…No! I'd just tell you all the plot twists and developments now, and see if you can spot them in further chapters – HA!! Anywho, if you'd review that'd be great! Seriously, it would. Cause otherwise I'd just be all 'meh' and couldn't be bothered writing. So the power of getting a new chapter up is literally, yours. And I just had to rewrite this on the internet in html cause fanfic was being a bastard and this was the only way to post this up for you guys so hoped you liked it! **


	6. Chapter VI

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter VI**

"So what the hell are we going to do now?"

Foreman crashed on the gurney in the dark quarantine room as House paced up and down along the long glass wall and Chase sat on his gurney in shock. The nurse who helped with the LP sat silently on her gurney, twiddling her thumbs as the Doctor remained silent as he lay down on his gurney, his brow frowned as he stared up at the ceiling.

"I don't know." House mumbled darkly as he continued to waddle up and down the room.

"What do you mean you don't know!" House looked over at Chase as he shouted at him from his gurney. "It's Cameron! She's…we can't just sit here and do nothing!"

"It's not my problem that you're sleeping with her and it's definitely not my problem that Cuddy put us in here." House glared at Chase. "If you want to do us a favour, stop whining. This is going to be a hell of a lot worse if we have to deal with your moping around."

"House."

Everyone quickly looked up to see Cuddy standing outside in the hallway, looking in on them sadly.

"Cuddy!" House waddled over to the glass wall. "So good to have you drop by! Just double checking on your prisoners are we?"

"House, you know I had no other choice." Cuddy glared at him.

"Oh no, of course not. Blame it on the bureaucracy."

"This is an epidemic House! I can't just hide you from the CDC, you're her doctors for crying out loud!"

"But you see, what I don't understand is how we're going to diagnose this thing while we're stuck in this room."

"House, you're off the case." Cuddy said sternly.

"What?" House snapped angrily.

"You're off the case. This has affected Cameron, it's affected all of you. You've totally lost all objectivity and I'm not going to let you choose random diseases in your frantic attempt of curing her."

"But we're not infected! Look at us! Look at the nurse! We're fine!"

"You had contact with Cameron, they had contact with the patient. No one knows what this thing is so you're in here. You're off the case House, the CDC has taken over."

"Do you find pleasure in being a figure-head?"

"Yes, House. I just love the fact that I can't do anything in my own hospital. Sit down, rest your leg. This is going to take a while. And check your temp. every hour."

House glared at Cuddy as she walked down the empty hallway and left them. House quickly swerved round and looked around the room.

"We can't just sit here and do nothing!" Chase burst. "This is ridiculous."

"Who was affected?" House ignored Chase as he looked walked around the room and began to look through the draws.

"What?" Foreman looked up at House curiously.

"The disease, who's affected?" House looked up at Chase who remained silent.

"Ah, all the family." The nurse piped up from the back of the room as Chase didn't answer. "And Dr Cameron."

House opened a draw and smiled. Picking up a permanent marker House closed the drawer and waddled over to the glass wall. The Doctor sat up in his gurney and watched House curiously.

"What are their symptoms?" House wrote 'CDC are SOB' on the glass with his marker.

"They were unconscious." Chase replied dully. "Like a coma, but not. Their pupils were responsive but they didn't react to painful stimuli. And they all have these marks, like rashes on both their feet and on the palm of their right hand."

"Like lightning entry and exit marks." The Doctor mumbled to himself.

"Yeah." Chase nodded in realisation.

"Did they get them all a CT?" The Doctor asked Chase.

"Too busy taking them into quarantine I guess."

House looked at the symptoms on the glass and stepped back a bit as he looked at them in deep thought. "These aren't the symptoms that the first patient presented with. Why do they think they got it from her? What if it were environmental?"

"Because everyone that had contact with her was affected." Foreman crossed his arms.

"Not us." The Doctor looked over to Foreman. "We all had close contact with her and we're fine."

"And yet here we are…" House mumbled as he continued to stare at the symptoms on the glass wall.

"Hold on, those markings;" The Doctor looked back at Chase. "Did Williams have them when she came in?"

"No." Chase answered in surprise and looked over to Foreman. "She didn't have any markings."

"What do you mean?" Foreman looked confused. "She was struck by lighting, she has to have marks of entry and exist on her feet and on the hand she held the umbrella with."

"And yet she doesn't." House continued to stare at the symptoms. "Except the others do….What links Cameron with the patient's family."

"They were all in close contact with her." Foreman answered.

"So did you all."

"Cameron mentioned that she had a cough when she did the LP." Chase piped up.

"But the nurse was there too." House turned around and looked at them all. "She had the same contact but she's fighting fit."

"Maybe she has a stronger immune system." Foreman suggested.

"No," House looked back at the symptoms. "It's something else. Some other weird connection….But what?"

"They all care about her too much?" Foreman flung up in vain.

"What?" The Doctor quickly snapped over to Foreman.

"Nothing." Foreman looked at the Doctor curiously. "Just the family acted like they could hug the air out of this poor girl. Cameron's exactly like them. Probably sick for the sake of empathy."

The Doctor quickly leaped off the bed and ran to the door, taking out his sonic screwdriver and opening the lock to the door, sliding it open then running to the second door and opening it. The others just sat in shock as they watched the Doctor leave the quarantine.

Watching him run into the hall House quickly threw the marker over to Chase and followed the Doctor as quickly as possible.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

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**NB: Yes indeed! Where is he going? Well, I know. And you can probably guess with your cleverly deducing minds but oh well, it's a cliff hanger of sorts. Anywho, please review! I can't think of a cleaver anecdote to make you do so, so I'm just going to say that I'm going to Stockholm for a day! How seriously crazy is that! Oh yeah, just going over to Stockholm for the weekend. WTF??? And no I'm not British, nor am I American. I'm a full blooded Aussie, which gets me in the middle of the road, which I guess is what you need to be when writing a fic with English and American characters. (and by English I mean Time Lord with English accent.) And where do I get both shows? Why, the internet of course! Cause I'm currently in Finland! **

** Well, that's my life story, sorry for boring the hell out of you. Review to complain. **


	7. Chapter VII

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter VII**

House quickly smacked open the door to the janitor's closet with his cane as he tried to catch his breath. His surprise in being able to catch up with the hyperactive Englishman didn't last long when he looked up and saw a strange blue box at the back of the closet with the Doctor opening its door and walking in.

"Where do you think you're going?"

The Doctor stopped and looked back at House.

"In here." He nodded forward. "Got to make a phone call."

"In a blue police box?" House raised his eyebrow sceptically.

"Yeah," The Doctor jerked his head back to look at the box. "What on earth is it doing in a janitor's closet? Bizarre world."

Winking at House, the Doctor quickly walked into the box and closed the door behind him. House wadded into the closet and closed the door, wondering what the Doctor was doing.

Suddenly the door of the blue box opened and the Doctor's head popped out.

"You coming in or what?"

House smiled wryly. "In there? I've got a cell phone: lot less homoerotic."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Oh, just get in."

His head disappeared and the door closed again.

House stared blankly at the blue box, leaning on his cane as he quickly puffed his cheeks in and out. Letting out a sigh of annoyance House waddled over to the blue box and opened the door.

Quickly he closed it.

House took a step back.

Eyes still fixed to the box in front of him, House slowly put his left hand in his pocket and pulled out his bottle of Vicodin.

Looking down at his bottle he shook it lightly then put it back in his pocket.

Slowly moving an inch back to the box, House peered over to the other side of the box and tapped it. Glancing over to the other side he ran his hand down the blue wood.

Taking a step back again House stood in front of the door and stared at it curiously. Puffing out his cheeks again House stopped, put his hand on the door, pushed it open and walked in.

Inside the Doctor was running around the control unit, flicking buttons, pulling levers and checking the screen for information. House heard the dull creek of the door closing behind him but could not help but do anything but stare at the interior of the odd box.

"It's bigger on the inside." House mumbled blankly.

"10 out of 10 for observation!"

House sharpened his gaze and looked inquisitively at his surroundings. "Is this a hallucination?"

The Doctor looked up at him from his screen. "Would it make any difference if it was?"

"Not especially." House slowly began to wander up the ramp. "Just wonder what the hell I took, cause its good stuff!"

"So!" The Doctor flicked a switched then looked back up at House, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You think you're hallucinating."

"Yup!"

"Is there anything I can say to dislodge this theory of yours?"

"Not really."

"Easy!" The Doctor grinned and went back to fiddling with the controls.

House wandered around control unit and looked at the large metal pylons that enclosed the room. "So, this is your space ship or lab or something?"

"It's called the TARDIS. That's Time And Relative Dimension In Space."

House raised his eyebrow sceptically. "It's a time machine too?"

"Ah…" The Doctor looked up at House in surprise. "Yes it is actually…You got that from the name? Shouldn't really tell everyone that…anyway! This is the TARDIS; it's my space…ship…- of sorts. But! Enough chit-chat." The Doctor put his hand on a lever. "Alonzi!"

The Doctor pulled the lever down. Suddenly the whole room lurched and shook from side to side. House quickly clang to the railing then crashed into the seat as he watched the Doctor grabbing on to the controls, grinning as he stared up at the plunging tower in the middle. Suddenly the shaking stopped and House propped himself up properly on the seat.

"Jesus, for a Vicodin trip it's damn bumpy." House picked up his cane off the floor and leaned back in the seat. "Where did you get your hands on this thing?"

"Thought you thought it was a hallucination."

"Wanna see how detailed I get." House smiled. "How'd you get it?"

The Doctor faced House and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I'm an alien."

"Of course you are."

"No really, I am." The Doctor looked slightly hurt. "Two hearts."

"Why do you have that?" House looked at him curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, last time I checked, one heart kept someone alive quite well enough. What's the other one for? Backup?"

"No, it's just…there."

House sharpened is gaze at the Doctor. "Do they pump in time or one after the other?"

The Doctor looked at House strangely. "It…depends."

"They cover the whole body or just one side each?"

"They just… Why are you so interested?"

"Not everyday you create a figment of your imagination with two hearts. I'm curious."

"I find your intensity quite disturbing." The Doctor looked at House with embarrassed inquisitiveness. "But anyway! We have a patient to cure."

The Doctor quickly swung round the screen and turned some dials. House leaned his chin against the top of his cane as he sat and continued to stare at the Doctor.

"If you're an alien, how come you have an English accent?"

"Lots of planets have an Eng…Hold on. Scratch that."

Suddenly the TARDIS began to shake violently again. House quickly held himself on the seat as the Doctor began to prance around the control unit, taking out a mallet and banging on the buttons.

"Where are you taking us?" House looked up at the Doctor as he put down the mallet and began pumping a bike pump.

"Into the storm! That woman was struck by something but not lightning. Two witnesses say they saw her get stuck but she had no entry or exit marks." The Doctor looked up at House. "We're going to see what really struck her."

The Doctor pulled a level up. Suddenly the TARDIS lurched to a stop. House was thrown off the seat as the Doctor flung round the screen and looked at it.

There was a rumbling outside.

House slowly got off the floor with a groan as he picked up his cane and leaped over to the door as the Doctor ran down the ramp in front of him. There was a louder rumble and suddenly the TARDIS lurched sideways.

"Excellent!" The Doctor stopped in front of the doors. "Looks like we got the right place." The Doctor looked back at House who finally made his way down to the door then put his hands on the handle. "Dr House, I give you – " The Doctor swung open the doors of the TARDIS. " – the eye of the storm!"

"Wrong kind of storm."

"I know but it's much more dramatic."

House smiled wryly then looked out of the TARDIS. In front of them was a sea of grey and black, the clouds churning in the sky as in the distance there we small flashes of light appearing through the black. There was a huge clash as the TARDIS shook and the wind began to howl past them.

"So," House looked blankly into the chaos in front of him. "This is the storm."

"Yup." The Doctor nodded slowly.

Suddenly House began to sniff the damp, cold air curiously. "What's that smell?"

"What do you mean?" The Doctor looked over at House.

"Smells like burnt fuses or something. Some sort of metal. We're 6000 feet in the air, there's no metal here."

Suddenly there was another load bang. The TARDIS lurched to the other side.

The Doctor began to smile. Quickly he pulled out his sonic screwdriver from his breast pocket and held it up in front of him, scanning the churning black clouds.

"There's a massive amount of energy here." The Doctor looked intensely through the clouds. "An outrageous amount!"

"Really?" House looked at the Doctor. "Who would've thought? Cause, you know; we are in the middle of an electrical storm."

"That's all static energy, raw energy." The Doctor's eyes lit up as he began talking faster. "This is refined. This, this is sophisticated stuff. Powerful stuff. It caught the attention of my TARDIS and that's why I'm here." The Doctor put down his screwdriver. "There's something in the storm…but it has _huge _amounts of energy, why would it be hiding in an electrical storm?"

House looked back into the storm as the TARDIS began to groan. "Maybe it created it. A huge body of power always has static electricity around it. Like fat kids around an ice cream truck. The fatter the ice cream, the bigger the kids."

The Doctor looked over at House in surprise. "That's…genius. Really, it is. Couldn't have put it better myself, and that's saying something." The Doctor looked back into the storm. "But; where's the ice cream truck? And what on earth is it selling?"

"Don't stretch the metaphor too far - "

"Hold on." The Doctor quickly jutted as something caught his eye.

The sonic screwdriver began to beep like crazy. Through the dark clouds there was another light, but this one was blue, and continuous. Slowly the blue began to get lighter as suddenly something began to appear through the clouds.

It looked like a blue ball of electricity, sparks flying off into the clouds as the lines of electricity ran like a web around each other. Suddenly the ball stoped in midair, the electricity getting brighter and brighter.

All of a sudden there was a clap of thunder. The electricity froze then a blue light beamed down from the ball, stopping after a second.

It was the lighting strike.

The blue electricity had disappeared, and all that was left of the ball was a metal shell as it hovered in the air then was once again swallowed by the churning clouds.

Suddenly the Doctor waved his arm in the air in front of him. "Woa!" The Doctor wrinkled up his nose, the smell of burnt fuses wafting into the TARDIS. "That is…that was impressive. I tell you…Phwuu!" The Doctor took a step back and closed the doors of the TARDIS on the smell.

House looked over at the Doctor and smiled. "It transferred energy."

"Uh-ah. Smell that residue. It transferred something else."

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**NB: Right, sorry for the lateness of this update, just had busy couple of days. Tis a longer chapter so I hope it kind of makes up for it. Anywho: House finally gets into the TARDIS. Woot! "It's bigger on the inside." - I know, just had to include that for old times sake lol. **

**But yes, what did that thing transfer? Will they get to save Cameron in time? Will the Doctor take House as his companion? Simple answer: no. But it would be fun to dream. Anyhow: please review! Helps to know that people are reading your fics (doesn't matter if they hate it with a passion, just that they read) i.e.: it helps keep me out of my ditch of self-consciousness.**

**Whining and annoying? Yes! I could almost be Meredith. In fact, I think I have surpassed her!**


	8. Chapter VIII

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter VIII**

Jason waited at the door, bored out of his wits.

Trying to sustain his guard-like composure, Jason gazed down the hallway of the hospital again then looked back in front of him. His suit was starting to itch. Trying to clasp his hands together he cursed in his mind over the clumsy massive gloves. Sighing he glanced behind him through the glass walls were the patient was lying. Turning once again to the wall in front of him Jason breathed onto his plastic screen, fogging up his vision slightly.

As the condensation on his mask began to disappear a brown blob quickly appeared in front of him, holding up something to his mask.

"No admittance." Jason barked as he quickly turned to his professional self.

"I'm the Doctor." The man glared at Jason as he held the paper to his face. "I'm the President of the CDC and this is my secretary Dr House – "

"Hey!"

"We need to see the patient."

Jason stood stern as the cripple began to walk up to them. "You need a suit."

"No suit needed, got my dry wit to protect me." The crippled doctor smiled. "Now, go be a good man and piss off."

Jason glared at the cripple then looked back to the paper that the Doctor held and sighed. Switching off the oxygen Jason took off his mask and plodded down the hall as both men watched him turn the corner and disappear out of sight.

The Doctor immediately turned back round and whisked the screen door open, throwing off his coat and chucking it to the other side of the room as he quickly approached the bed.

House followed slowly and closed the screen door again as the patient began to wake up.

"Hello." The Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets as he stood at the foot of the bed.

"What?" Lauryn opened her eyes and tried to look around the room as she propped herself up on the bed. "Who's there?"

"I'm the Doctor, I've come for a little chat."

House crossed his arms and leaned on the glass wall as he watched on sceptically.

"What do you remember about last night?" The Doctor continued.

"I don't know…I was walking and then it all went black and I was suddenly in an ambulance but I couldn't see."

"Nothing else?"

"Like what, being stuck by lightning? No, nothing else."

"Right then!" The Doctor forced a smile and pulled out his hands from his pockets, moving up to Lauryn and he slowly brought his hands to the sides of her head and looked in her eyes.

"What are you doing?" Lauryn looked at the Doctor strangely as he began to stare into her eyes.

"Nothing, just…try and relax. This isn't going to hurt a bit."

House raised his eyebrows and began to smile wryly as the Doctor closed his eyes and began to hold Lauryn's head tighter. Suddenly Lauryn's eyes began to flicker then close, her whole body going limp as she collapsed back down on her pillow.

The Doctor opened his eyes.

"Here we go!" He stood up from the bed and stepped back a bit, stuffing his hands into his pockets again, staring at Lauryn.

Suddenly her eyes opened again. Eyes flicking everywhere she propped herself up on the bed again. "Right…I can't see."

The Doctor continued to stare at the patient. "Identify yourself."

"Hold on – what?" The patient looked confused.

"Identify yourself."

"Ah, Edosob." The patient rubbed her face with her hand and tried to look around the room again in vain.

"What species?" The Doctor remained still.

"Electrios. From the Sparn Confederation."

"Ah!" The Doctor sighed in understanding. "You're an Electrios."

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor."

The patient nodded slowly. "And ah, _where_ am I?"

"On Earth."

"What's earth?"

"3rd planet from the sun in the Solar System number Square/8 in the Milky Way."

"The Milky Way?" The patient raised her eyebrows. "Ok, that explains a lot."

The Doctor began to tug on his ear lightly as he continued to stare at the patient. "But you're from the Sparn Confederation, that's galaxies away, billions of light years. What on earth are you doing here? Why aren't you back home?"

"I was pronounced terminal."

"What do you mean?" House suddenly piped up as he continued to lean on the wall up the back.

"Who's that?" The patient tried to look at the direction of his voice.

"I'm that body's doctor." House grumbled. "What do you mean by _terminal_?"

"I mean that I'm sick and dying. The Electrios don't take to sickness lightly."

The Doctor looked confused. "What do you mean? You never get sick. You're an Electrios, you cure each other."

"Ah," The patient smiled wryly. "Not till three periods ago. There was an infection that couldn't be stopped, no matter how much people cared. Everyone gave up, stopped caring for the sick because there was no hope. The contaminated ended up being quarantined. They all died together."

"So why are you here?" House continued to glare at the patient suspiciously.

"Like I said, I got sick. We no longer have the capabilities of a cure back home so they throw patients to random spots in the universe. They say that it's to find the nearest Electrios who has the capabilities of caring, but everyone knows it's so you can die away from the Confederation."

The Doctor bit his lip and crossed his arms as he stared at the patient again in curiosity. "But why transfer into this body? Why are you infecting the others with this…ah! ...You're dying."

"What's your point?" House looked over at the Doctor.

"The Electrios are different to you and me," The Doctor looked over to House. "They don't get cured by medicine or surgeries or whatever, all they need is empathy. Raw empathy in it's purest form can heal anything except old age."

"But after plague, people gave up on this form of medicine." The patient jutted in with a sad voice. "The Electrios stopped caring about the sick."

House looked curiously at the patient and the Doctor. "What do you mean by _caring_?"

The Doctor looked over to House. "They feed off other people's care. Someone who cares can then feel their pain. _Literally_."

House raised his eyebrows. "Empathy in its purest form."

The Doctor continued. "The Electrios transfer their sickness to the other person and through that empathy they are both cured. But first you need to find someone who _cares_."

"Explains why Cameron was infected." House pushed himself off the wall and moved slowly towards the bed. "But you, Electrolux or whatever your name was, why are you in PPTH? Of all the planets in all the solar systems in all the galaxies, why did you have to stumble into this one?"

"I didn't choose it if that's what you mean. The doctors blast you into different spaces all scattered round the universe and your ship is programmed to latch on to the closest form of life capable of empathy. I remember the ship being launched then suddenly I end up here. But you said there were others infected? That shouldn't be so."

"What do you mean?" The Doctor lowered his voice.

"The Electrios only need one infected to get enough raw empathy. I should be cured."

" '_Should'_ being the operative word." House wandered up to the bed. "What are your symptoms?"

"Blindness, seizures, brain tumour and heart failure."

"Interesting…" House sharpened his gaze. "Everyone infected only have the symptoms associated with a lightning strike. The only one with your symptoms is that body right there."

"Oh," The Doctor sighed in understanding. "The transfer probably can't translate to the human system. The procedure's going haywire."

"So what do I do?" The patient looked over to the Doctor nervously.

"You sit there, try and recover your strength. If we can figure out what you have and find a way to cure it then maybe we can fix this mess."

"Ok then." House smiled wryly at the Doctor. "We need a whiteboard."

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**NB: Right, again, sorry for the lateness. So that chapter was a padding out episode, for you know…padding out. Plot setter and all, so I hope you bared with it. Oh yeah, added in the POV of the CDC guard guy. Why? Beacuse every time I see one of those poor guys in radioactive suits or whatever on tv or in the movies (like that Greys ep with the plague) I think Christ they must be bored out of their wits, what the hell do they do for all that time, what the hell would they be thinking? Thus: guard's POV. Anywho, 'twill be a short NB because I think I'm starting to bore you all with my relentless pleas for reviews. Cheers for reading this though – you're all champs! Absolute champs!! Oh and yes, the fic is named after the Shins song "Caring is Creepy" - love that song.**


	9. Chapter IX

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter IX**

"Ok, get out."

Foreman glanced up at the door as he lay down on the gurney in quarantine to see House standing at the door, holding it open with his cane.

"Ah, what about the CDC?" Chase asked as he sat up on his gurney confused.

"I told them Cuddy stashed the drugs. Now, out." House dropped his cane and let the door close as Foreman and Chase quickly hoped off their gurneys and ran after House who was already down the hall outside.

"So what's new?" Foreman caught up to House as he quickly stopped and peered cautiously around the corner before quickly hopping over to the elevator.

"Differential diagnosis people!" House pressed the elevator button, as he looked cautiously once more up and down the hall. "Blindness, heart failure, seizures and brain tumours."

"Hold on, what happened to Cameron?" Chase quickly snapped as he walked in the elevator with House and Foreman.

"She got better."

"Really?"

"No."

"So what causes blindness, heart failure, seizures and brain tumours?" House continued, staring up at the floor numbers.

Foreman crossed his arms in thought. "Well, when we scale it down to contagious diseases…"

"It's not contagious."

Ding.

"What do mean it's not contagious?" Foreman followed House out of the elevator, perplexed.

"As in, _it's not contagious_." House glanced back to Foreman as he continued to walk to his office.

"But Cameron and the family got sick because of their contact with the patient, that's kind of the definition of _contagious_!" Chase argued as he entered the office after House and Foreman.

House moved up to the whiteboard and turned around. "No, the _definition _of contagious is to contract the same disease of the original patient. I think. I don't really carry round the Oxford dictionary with me. But my point is, the others do _not_ have the same disease. Therefore, we treat our first patient then everyone else will get better."

"And you're basing this theory on what? Convenience?" Foreman crossed his arms.

"Nope, basing it on the Doctor."

"Since when do you listen to anyone, let alone the Doctor?" Chase looked at House sceptically.

"Since I realised not everyone in the world is as stupid and perfectly permed as you, Chase."

"But the original patient and the others are connected. We can't just ignore one and cure the other." Foreman continued to stare at House seriously.

House rested hand on the top of the whiteboard. "No, because they _are_ connected. Curing one cures the other."

"Which means it contagious!"

"No it isn't"

Foreman and Chase turned around to see the Doctor walking into the office, balancing what looked like a bunch of rusted metal junk in his arms.

"Why?" Foreman watched as the Doctor dropped the junk on the table with a clang.

The Doctor looked up at Foreman and wiped his hands on his pants as he stuffed them back in his pockets and stood up straight. "Because it's alien."

Foreman raised his eyebrows. "Ah, whywould you think that?"

"Because I'm alien."

Chase immediately lit up. "You are?"

"Wow, he really jumped in there…" House raised his eyebrows.

"You're alien?" Foreman tried to contain his laughter.

"Yep."

"Ok, I'm sorry but this is ridiculous." Foreman crossed his arms. "These patient is dying. _Cameron_ was infected and you're playing games."

"No jokes," The Doctor looked seriously. "I'm alien. Really…I am."

"Are you from mars?" Chase asked, excited.

"No, I'm not from mars." The Doctor replied dully.

"Where are you from?" Chase grinned stupidly.

"Gallifrey."

"Never heard of it."

"Good."

Foreman looked over at House who continued to lean on the board, looking on at Chase and the Doctor. "So you believe all this?"

"Nope!" House smiled. "I still think is a hallucination."

Foreman rolled his eyes and looked back at the Doctor. "Are you sure you haven't just got a tumour growing in your temporal lobe?"

"No, I'm an alien, I am. Look;" The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and held it up to the CD player on the top of the shelves and turned it on.

"Congratulations." Foreman looked back at the Doctor wryly. "You've got yourself a remote control."

The Doctor looked annoyed. "Have it your way…" Quickly moving up to Foreman he pulled out Foreman's stethoscope from his lab coat pocket, snapped the buds in his ears and put the diaphragm to the right side of his chest.

Foreman sighed in frustration then suddenly stopped short, quickly grabbing the diaphragm from the Doctor's right side and bringing it back to where his heart should be. Quickly he brought it back to the right side and listened again.

"Jesus Christ…"

"Time Lord."

Foreman looked back up at the Doctor. "You've…you got two hearts."

"Do I?" The Doctor feigned surprise. "Fancy that. Now!" He turned back to the junk on the table, leaving Foreman dead in his tracks. "I need some blood samples, and some bone marrow." The Doctor started to set the pieces up. "You!" He looked up at Chase. "What was your name again?"

"Chase…ah, Robert Chase."

"Fantastic Robert Chase! Here:" He chucked up a rusted metal slab to Chase. "Scan the girl with this."

"What does it do?"

"It scans…things…. How should I know? It looks scanerish, that's good enough, now House – "

Suddenly the Doctor was cut off. The glass table began to hum loudly as Chase's pager began to vibrate. Foreman's beeper suddenly went off as he looked down to check it.

Something was wrong with the others.

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**NB: Ok, I officially hate Eurovision. Not that I ever really liked it before, always thought it was a joke, something so lame it's hilarious. But it's no laughing matter when Doctor Who is pulled for a week because of it. Like anyone watches Eurovision in the UK anyway! Like you're going to win with a song like that anyway. Oh god, getting memories flooding in of airplanes and corny dance moves with ping-pong paddles…#shudder#. **

**Anywho! That's my rant. So, must go to watch the grand final of the ice hockey world cup! (In case you wanted to know…) So, to keep me out of my depressed little hole for having only two eps of House left and to wait another week for Doctor Who: REVIEW!! Cheers! Just like to say though, statistically: you guys are the best reviewers I've ever had. Huzzah for statistics!**


	10. Chapter X

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter X**

"Charge to 350!'

House crashed through into the quarantined room to see four people in white suits crowded round one of the gurneys, code box behind them as one of them held up the paddles then brought them down on the patient.

He could hear the body leap of the bed then crashed back down. The unbroken screech of the monitor continued. The men in suits looked at each other, not noticing Foreman, Chase and the Doctor running into the room after House.

"Charge again!" The man with the paddles said with a tinny voice.

As another suit pressed the button on the code box, the man holding the paddles stepped back slightly, revealing the patient on the bed.

Cameron.

"Get away from her." A cold voice came from House, as he stood frozen at the door.

Three of the suits quickly looked up at House in surprise.

"Charged!" The suit at the code box shouted. The suit with the paddles quickly turned back to Cameron and shocked her, House looking on in vain as her body stiffened and leaped off the bed, her ventilator tugging at her mouth as he jerked upwards.

"I said, get the hell away from her." The words grinded out of House's teeth.

One of the suits looked up at him in surprise. "Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?? This is a quarantine! You're not even wearing a suit! Get out, before we put you into custody!"

"I'm Dr House," House glared at the suits as he walked over to Cameron's gurney. "And there's no way in hell you're kicking me out of here. Now, give me those paddles." He held out his hand to the suit with the paddles.

"You're not authorised by the CDC." The suite remained unchanged. "Go now or I'll call security!"

"**Paddles!**" House shouted suddenly, his hand forced in front of the suit as he glared at him angrily.

The suit glanced nervously at his colleagues then slowly handed the paddles to House.

House quickly let go of his cane and grabbed the two paddles from the suit's hands and shoved past him to the side of Cameron's gurney.

"Charge to 450!" He shouted.

"It'll fry her heart!" Chase suddenly cried in objection.

"450!"

The suit at the code box looked nervously to the other suits as he remained still.

"**450!**" House shouted again.

The suit by the code box quickly looked away from House's glare and dialled up the code box, listening to the hum of it charging then watching as the light blinked on.

"Charged!"

House hurriedly brought the paddles down to Cameron's chest, her body jerking higher off the gurney as he pressed down the buttons. Quickly he looked up at the stat monitor.

There was a beep.

Chucking the paddles into the arms of the suit he quickly brought two fingers under Cameron's chin, checking her pulse. His face remained grave as he let out a small breath.

"She's back."

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"Cameron is deteriorating while the others remain stable. Why?"

House bit on his fist as he paced in front of the whiteboard in his office in thought as Chase and the Doctor looked on.

"Maybe she cared more then the patient's family." Chase said in a dull voice as he sat down at the table.

"With that family, even I have my doubts." House stopped pacing and looked back at the whiteboard. "We're missing something."

The Doctor looked at House curiously as he stood at the back of the room with his hands stuffed in his pockets. "Since when did you get so involved in this? I thought you thought this was a hallucination."

"People punching me, surgical robots and psychodelic music are my hallucinations, _not_ Cameron dying."

A small smile appeared on the Doctor's face. "So if this isn't a hallucination, that means I'm real."

"Apparently so!" House continued to pace. "Why aren't any of the family members having cardiac arrests?"

"Maybe Cameron has a weaker heart than the others." Chase offered lamely.

"The Dad is the Michelin Man, if you were right, he'd be first."

Chase folded his arms and leant back in his seat. "Ok, what if the alien had anything to do with it? We should talk to it."

The Doctor tugged lightly on his ear in thought. "No, the Electrios doesn't have any control on who's affected and how bad. It wouldn't know about Cameron."

"So what do we do!?" House stopped pacing and flung his arm up in uncertainty. "Do we just wait for Cameron and the others to stoke-out and die? The O.C. starts in half an hour but I'm not in that much of a rush to see it!"

Suddenly the door opened to the office and Foreman came in, holding two vials in his hand. "Got the blood and the bone marrow from the alien/thing. How's Cameron going?"

"Stable." House muttered deeply as he returned to biting his fist as he hunched over his cane.

Foreman looked at the vials in his hand. "So if this is alien or whatever, and I'm not saying that it is, what do we do with it? I mean, how do we check it?"

"That's why I'm here." The Doctor moved to the table from his space in the corner, propping up one of the metal chucks on the table and pressing down on one of its buttons.

Suddenly the metal chunk sprang to life as two sides opened out, revealing what looked to be some weird sort of microscope.

"High-ho, here we go!" The Doctor clasped his hands together then held out his hand to Foreman.

Foreman looked at the Doctor open hand blankly for a second then quickly realised and gave him the two vials. Popping off the caps with his teeth, the Doctor poured in the blood into a hole on the top of the microscope thing then smeared the bone marrow onto a little dish at the bottom with his pinkie, quickly wiping his hand clean on his suit and waited for the machine to process.

The microscope began to whir as the bone marrow dish disappeared into the machine and a few lights began to flicker. Suddenly the noise stopped and two little eyepieces appeared from the top. The Doctor stared in.

Frozen for a while, looking into the microscope, the Doctor tapped his fingers lightly on the glass table then stopped.

Pulling back his head slightly the Doctor glanced up at House as he leaned on his can expectantly.

"We need to talk to our patient."

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**NB: Ergh. Two weeks till new House. I already had to go through one two-week onslaught with Doctor Who, now I'm expected to go through this? **_**And**_** it's the season finale! Oh well, mustn't fuss. On the other hand, don't want the season to end so I guess the wait's good in the end.**

**Anywho, hope you're enjoying this! Otherwise I guess it's kind of pointless. But yes, please review to let me know how I'm getting along. Or how you're getting along…Ok, I have no idea what I'm saying now. Review!**


	11. Chapter XI

**Chapter XI – Caring is Creepy**

"You're a liar."

The patient woke up and propped herself up on the gurney in confusion as the Doctor stood at the end of the gurney, hands stuffed in pockets as he glared at her seriously. House slid open the door and walked into the room, staring curiously at the Doctor as he crept in behind him, intrigued.

The Doctor continued to glare at the patient. "You know that, right? You really are."

"What are you talking about?" The patient looked confused as House walked up to the gurney and looked curiously at the Doctor.

"Yeah Doctor, what are you talking about?"

"You lied to us." The Doctor continued to stare at the patient. "You're no longer sick."

"What do you mean?" House looked confused. The patient remained silent.

"I mean," the Doctor pointed at the patient. "You've been cured. I've checked your blood and your bone marrow, you are terminal no more!"

The patient looked at the Doctor in disbelief. "What are you talking about? Of course I'm sick! I can't see! I'm blind for Circur's sake!"  
The Doctor quickly pulled out his sonic screwdriver and threw it at the patient. Suddenly she flinched and raised up her arms over her face as the sonic screwdriver ricocheted off her protecting arm before bouncing off the bed then falling to the floor. The patient held up her arms again for a second then sighed and dropped them, glaring at the Doctor.

"Nope," The Doctor smiled wryly. "Something tells me you can see."

"Congratulations." The patient offered sarcastically.

"Hold on." House looked at the Doctor and then the patient. "Slow down one second. You're not sick? Then why isn't Cameron better?"

"Because she didn't need them to get cured." The Doctor sharpened his gaze at the patient. "See, the Electrios base themselves on energy." The Doctor turned to House and started talking faster. "Their basic form is energy, they feed off it. That blue electricity around the pod, that was the Electrios in their true form. But not all energy is electrical. Like I said before, they are cured by empathy, by the feeling, the energy that is stirred inside when someone cares about something, so basic and so much. They feed off that to get cured, but like we can store up food they can store up the energy." The Doctor turned to the patient. "But _why_ are you doing this? You've already been cured, why do you need the extra energy?"

"I need to get home." The patient looked up at the Doctor as he sighed in understanding. "When I transferred into this body, I lost all my energy, but I was cured. I couldn't stay in this body forever, I had to go home. So I latched on to the body's family and that doctor girl, all those who were capable of pure empathy that I could farm."

"Oh but you're not just farming their empathy," The Doctor looked back in realisation at the patient as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "You're feeding off their life force too."

"I must do whatever can be done to get home." The patient tried to justify. "You're home, you're on your planet. You have no idea what it's like to have your home so far away, light years away from your reach. I miss it more than I can tell, and you are not going to stand in the way of me getting back."

"Dial down the heart strings, you're not going to get any sympathy from me." House glared at the patient. "You get out of that body and return Cameron back to normal then this Doctor can send you back home in his phone box."

"Police box."

"Same thing."

"But I can't." The Doctor suddenly said with a deep voice. "The Electrios is pure energy, if I take it into the TARDIS it'll fry the TARDIS's heart."

"Then I guess you're stuck here." House looked back at the patient. "Cos there's no chance in hell you're sucking the life force out of people for a free ticket home."

The patient just smiled. "Well, not to point out the obvious, but there is no way you can stop me."

"She has a point you know." The Doctor looked over to House.

House raised his eyebrow at the Doctor. "I don't think it's best to point out the fact that she has a point. The whole _'upper-hand'_ thing kind of gets thrown out the window."

The Doctor looked back at the patient. "But you do have a point, a good point. _But_, I'm afraid I have one too. '_Cos_, as far as I can see," The Doctor looked around the room. "This room is made mainly out of glass and I'm pretty sure – though don't quote me on this – glass is not conductible. _And _there is also the small fact that though the CDC have no idea what's going on, you're still kind of in quarantine with an armoured guard just down the hall. So if I do this…" The Doctor opened the door and walked out then closed it as House joined him outside. The Doctor then turned around and looked back at the patient through the glass door as she sat confused on her bed. "…it kind of seems like you can't escape."

"You can't stop me Doctor!" The patient jumped of the bed and walked up to the glass door to face the Doctor.

"Oh but I can." The Doctor stared coolly into the patient's eyes. "Because trying to get back home is all well and good, but killing innocent people to get home; that falls under my jurisdiction. And god help you for that."

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"A dying Cameron, the CDC and a psychotic alien: Go."

House chucked the white board marker behind him as he finished writing on the white board and looked over at Foreman, Chase and the Doctor as they all sat silently in thought at the table.

"You actually think the white board's going to help?" Foreman raised his eyebrow at House.

"It's the only way I can get through." House feigned sadness as he clasped his hands together and looked sadly at Foreman. "So what are we going to do?" House quickly snapped out and walked over to the coffee brewer.

"Can we do _anything_?" Chase asked dully as he burrowed his face in his hand as he leant on the table.

"Sure we can!" House poured himself a coffee. "We're doctors, we can do everything!" House smiled wryly as he took a sip out of his red coffee mug.

"But she's cured!" Chase looked up to House. "The alien/thing-whatever is cured but she's still infecting Cameron and the family. There's no way we can stop her. All we can do is wait till she sucks out all their life force."

House looked down to the Doctor. "You did that psychic thing to talk to the alien, can't you bring back the girl?"

"What point would it make? The Electrios would still have its hold on the others." The Doctor leant back in his chair and started to rub his earlobe. "Plus I don't know if I could reach her. Usually the original self snaps back into place after a while but it seems like the Electrios is holding her back, compressing the girl to the back of her mind until soon there will be nothing left."

"Well that's not depressive at all." House rolled his eyes as he walked over to the whiteboard.

"Then there's nothing we can do." Chase burrowed his head into his hands once more.

"There is _one _thing we could do, failing all else." Everyone looked up at House. "We could kill the alien."

The Doctor shook his head lightly. "But they're both connected in the physical form. Killing the Electrios kills the girl."

"But it would stop it sucking out the other's life force." House leaned on his cane. "Sacrificing the girl would save Cameron and the family, it's easy to do the maths."

"But it's wrong!" Chase suddenly cried out.

House looked at Chase curiously. "You never make up your mind, do you? First you're for euthanasia, now you're against it…"

"This isn't euthanasia, it's murder!" Chase stood up from the chair. "The girl has no idea what's going on, she was infected with this alien, she has nothing to do with it!"

House sharpened his gaze at Chase. "The alien is killing her and everyone else. _It_ is the murderer; we're merely speeding up the process, _and_ reducing the casualties."

"But it's just wrong!" Chase tried to exasperate. The Doctor stood up from his chair and walked up behind Chase.

"Don't you _want_ to save Cameron?" House raised his eyebrow.

"Of course I do! But Cameron would definitely not agree with this."

"Guess we'll never know now!"

"House, we can't." Chase calmed his voice. "Think about what it would be like as this girl. She survived being struck by lightning, she was blind, she had no idea what was going on and then suddenly she's dead?"

The Doctor raised his eyebrows at Chase as he stuck his hands in his pockets. "Feeling a bit empathetic are we?

"What?" Chase quickly looked back at the Doctor, confused.

Suddenly Chase looked over to House and opened his mouth quickly to say something when he collapsed on the floor. Foreman jumped out of his chair and crouched on the floor over Chase as he quickly brought out his stethoscope and listened to his chest. "His heart's not beating." Foreman said quickly as he whisked off his stethoscope and began to listen for Chase's breaths. "Someone get me a gurney!! STAT!" Foreman shouted to the people outside.

House remained still, staring down at the unconscious Chase with a furrowed brow as suddenly the doors to the office were swung open and three nurses rolled in a gurney.

The Doctor crouched down to Chase as the gurney was brought down and picked up Chase's right hand. Turning it to the palm the Doctor brushed his thumb over dark marking's on Chase's palm.

"Looks like he got struck by lightning."

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**NB: 'Ello 'ello 'ello. Been a while, hasn't it? Actually I think "been a while" might be a tad of an understatement. So it's been a fuck long time since my last update. Sorry about that. Had stuff and then went to Europe and everything but enough of that! The Doctors are back!! And currently I'm writing this in the summer house so I have no idea what has happened in Doctor Who past "Utopia" so this is my way of keeping my crazy excitement levels reasonably down. But the story! Chase is down, what else will happen? Will they figure out something in time before the alien kills them all?? Was originally going to make the alien nice but then I thought stuff, let's have the good ol' evil alien! **

**Hope you're liking it, and hope you all haven't disappeared in my absence. So I guess there's nothing else for me to say but: REVIEW!! Cheers. **


	12. Chapter XII

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter XII**

House leaned on his cane as he gazed through the glass wall to the large quarantine room where the new case was being wheeled in next to Cameron's gurney. Standing next to House, the Doctor stood with his hands in his pockets, looking on sadly at the line of gurneys as the figures in white suits went from one gurney to the next, checking and monitoring each one. Glancing over to House he watched as his face grow stern as he watched the gurneys.

"Two down, one to go." House mumbled as he looked back at Doctor with a weary smile.

The Doctor looked at House curiously as his smile faded and his face returned to the stern glare. "You don't think you'll be affected?"

House looked back at the Doctor and smiled wryly. "If it's one thing I can't do, it's feel empathy. Just got to keep Wilson away."

"What about Foreman?" The Doctor looked at House.

"He's in there." House nodded to the glass as the Doctor looked in to one of the figures in the white suit currently connecting Chase to the IV.

"So what do we do?" The Doctor looked back at House as he returned to glaring through the glass wall at Cameron as she lay on the gurney.

House looked up. "You kill this thing."

"I can't." The Doctor said softly.

"What do you mean, you can't?" House turned from the wall to now face the Doctor completely.

"I can't kill someone like that." The Doctor turned to House.

House just looked at him in disbelief. "You can't be serious."

"I can only do it when it is the last possible option, when it is out of self defence or in other's defence. Not out of cold blood."

"_Out of cold blood?_ That thing is killing 8 people, two of which work for me and you think it is out of cold blood?"

"The Electrios is still connected to the girl. Chase was right, I cannot execute her."

"But what you said Doctor, I know what you meant. That girl was dead the second she was struck by lightning. She had no chance after that. Even if the alien _was_ taken out of her, she'd have little of her self to show it. She'd be an empty shell."

The Doctor sighed and looked over to the quarantine then looked up at House once more. "Like I said, I can't kill her."

"Ok then." House nodded slightly as he looked at the Doctor. "I will."

Waiting for the Doctor to stop him, House looked back at the two gurneys once more. But the Doctor didn't stop him. Instead, as House looked back around the Doctor walked down the hallway, away from him. House watched as the Doctor disappeared around the corner, glanced back at the gurney then turned around and headed for the other quarantine.

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"You there! Klu Klux Klan!"

One of the quarantine guards in a white suite looked down the empty hallway as a man with a cane walked up to him.

"Need you!" House drew up to the door of the room the man was guarding.

"Who are you?" The guard looked confused at House.

"I'm the doctor." House winked. "And this patient needs some medicine." House held up a large syringe full of liquid. "Need you to hold her down." House sung open the first slide door. "She's a bit scared of needles."

The guard walked behind House as he came to the second quarantine door and swung it open.

"Morning!" House chirped as he strode into the room. The patient as it lay on the gurney quickly opened it's eyes and looked at House.

"Sleeping?" House asked, smiling.

The patient just smiled slyly as it sat up in its gurney. "It takes quite a bit of effort sucking out all that life force."

"Ha." House stopped smiling. "Guard, hold it down."

The guard, confused as to why the patient was acting so strangely, decided to give House the benefit of the doubt and walked up to the gurney, quickly holding the patient down as it struggled a bit then gave up and looked at House as it was squashed into the mattress under the weight of the guard's hands.

"What are you going to do with me?"

"I'm going to take away your pain." House walked up to the gurney slowly. "With morphine." He held up the syringe and looked at it. "Only thing is, don't know how much to put in there. Been a bit liberal with the measurements. No matter." House winked at the patient.

However the patient's face didn't change, and it continued to smile at House, as if it knew something he didn't. "Oh, but I wouldn't be to sure of that doctor." The patient began to grin.

"Huh?" House looked over at the patient coolly as he pretended to be more interested in setting up the syringe.

The patient winked at House. Suddenly the guard screamed in pain and began to tremble then he was suddenly thrown off the patient and hit the wall by some sort of invisible force.

The patient just looked at House. "I should have told you, doctor, that I bite back."

House back away in surprise as the patient drew back its sheets and hopped of the bed, standing still for a moment as it stared at House then suddenly sprang towards him.

House quickly chucked up his cane and smacked the patient square in the head as it lunged for him.

As it stopped and grasped its head in pain House quickly stepped into the primary room and locked the door then went to the hallway and locked the glass door there. Without looking back at the patient House moved down the hallway as quickly as he could.

"Hey!" House shouted to two other white suited guards down the hallway. "Patient's gone feral. Which one of you has a gun?"

The guards just looked at House blankly then looked at each other. "Ah…" One started, still confused. "Why do you need a gun?"

"What do you mean? To shoot the patient of course!" The guards still looked bewildered. "You're the CDC, you patrol all fatal epidemics: you've got to have a shot gun or a couple of flame throwers or something!"

"Well," The guard looked at his partner then over at House again. "There's the policemen outside."

"Excellent – "

Suddenly the sound of crashing glass echoed down the hallway. House quickly looked back down to the direction of the room then over to the guards. "Right. You've got to deal with that. I'll get the guns."

Quickly House disappeared round the corner as the guards looked at each other then walked down the hallway to the direction of the noise.

House walked quickly down the empty hallway as two piercing shouts echoed down the hallway from behind House.

Suddenly the sound of running came from in front of House as the Doctor and a policeman ran out from around a corner.

"Hello House!" The Doctor suddenly stopped in front of him as the policeman followed suit.

"Where did you go off to?" House questioned the Doctor.

"I was heading back to the TARDIS when suddenly everyone had a code blue. They're getting much worse. Foreman's got his CDC crew working on them but then I heard the crash of glass and I couldn't resist. What happened to our patient?"

"Turns out it's not so submissive." House turned to the policeman. "You got a gun?"

The policeman looked apprehensively at House. "I don't know if I have the jurisdic–"

"Oh just give me the gun." House held out his hand impatiently, fingers flapping to himself.

The policeman looked at the Doctor then slowly pulled out his gun from his holster and handed it carefully to House.

House immediately grabbed the gun comfortably as if he had held it many times before and turned around to face the direction he had come from. Suddenly the patient appeared from around the corner, peering around then walking out fully and stopping in the middle of the hallway.

House cogged the gun and aimed it straight at the patient, cane in his other hand.

"Stop!" The policeman quickly shouted as House brushed the trigger with his finger. "Don't shoot!"

House quickly looked over at the policeman and glared at him. "Why the hell would you give me your gun then?"

"Look at her!" The policeman implored. "She's just a patient." The policeman looked back at the patient and walked up to her. "It's ok." He tried to soothe her as he held up his hand.

"For god's sake!" House shouted at the policeman as he kept walking closer to the patient. "That's the same thing we're trying to stop!"

The policeman quickly looked back at House. "Wha – ?" But it was too late. The patent quickly lunged forward and grabbed the policeman by the hand. House and the Doctor watched in vain as the policeman let out a scream of pain and began to shake violently. Suddenly the patient let go of his hand and the policeman fell to the ground.

"He wasn't wearing rubber soles." The Doctor murmured. House just glared at the patient as she looked down at the dead policeman then up at them both.

"Oh, screw this!" House shouted as he quickly held up the gun again and pulled the trigger, the shot ringing through the empty hallway. The bang faded away as the patient remained still.

House dropped his hand as the Doctor took a step forward then stopped. The patient remained standing still until suddenly it fell backwards with a thud.

House edged forward then walked up to the patient as the Doctor followed cautiously. As they approached it they saw the blood stained hole above the just at the heart where the bullet entered.

"Nice shot." The Doctor said darkly as he placed his hands in his pockets. House leaned on his cane and looked at the patient's face as its eyes were closed peacefully.

Suddenly they shot open.

House and the Doctor jumped in shock as the patient's eyes looked directly at them.

"Holy shi…"

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**NB: Ahaha!!! What the hell just happened? Find out next chapter!! Anywho, sorry for the late update but I hope this kind of makes up for it. If not, or if you just need some one to talk to with the now lack of Doctor Who (AAAHHHKK!!!!! #falls on the ground in agony# - CHRISTMAS???? #tears out hair#) then Review!! Reviews keep me updating quicker, and better!!**


	13. Chapter XIII

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter XIII**

"Why didn't you shoot it in the head?!"

The Doctor ran down the hallway of the hospital while House chucked down two Vicodin and tried to follow him quickly as he could, cringing from the pain and he jolted down the corridor awkwardly.

"How the hell was I supposed to know it can't be killed?? You stop the heart you stop everything!"

The Doctor screeched to a stop then looked cautiously around the corner. "Well, obviously not!"

"Well, let's not forget the main issue here;" House halted behind the doctor as he crept around the corner and edged to the other side of the hall, looking up and down the hallway cautiously. "Why the hell isn't that thing dead?!"

"Shh – " The Doctor turned around and looked at House sharply.

Suddenly there was a noise from the corridor behind them. Quickly swerving round they saw the patient running from around the corner as it stopped and stared at them both, its chest still stained in blood as it glared at the Doctor and House.

Smiling at the two, the patient winked then ran down the corridor straight to them.

House glared at the patient as he stood frozen at the wall as it charged towards him. "How are we freaking – "

"Shift!" The Doctor shouted as he grabbed House by the arm and yanked him sideways as the Doctor held up the sonic screwdriver to the doors of the elevator next to them.

Glancing back down the hallway, House could see the patient getting closer as closer when suddenly he was yanked backwards by the arm. Regaining his balance he looked up again at the patient as it hurtled towards him as suddenly two metals doors slowly cut it out from his view.

There was a ding. The doors closed.

House quickly looked up at the Doctor who ran hand through his hair then stuffed them in his pockets, trying to pace inside the small metal box.

"What the _hell_ just happened there?!" House leaned on his cane as he tried to regain his breath.

"It's still alive." The Doctor talked to himself as he ran his palm over his mouth.

"Yea, I kind of figured that." House replied bluntly.

"But why?" The Doctor stopped pacing and looked up at House. "It's getting more powerful. The others were getting worse that must mean that it's building up it energy levels. It didn't die because it's not even alive. It electrocuted all those guards from a single touch. Its just energy. Pure electrical energy. It's gone back to its original form. With the obviously handy disguise of course."

House glared at the Doctor blankly. "So it can't die?"

"No."

"Then how the hell are we meant to kill it?"

"Ah…slightly more complicated question." The Doctor rubbed his ear.

"Great." House turned around and faced the doors. "Glad I've got you then."

"It's got to have some sort of weakness…" The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair again. "Think think think – its pure energy, pure electricity. How do you stop elect – Aha!" The Doctor shouted as House slightly jumped in surprise. House slowly turned around to glare at the Doctor as he grinned gleefully.

"Oh god." House just stared at him bluntly. "What is it now."

The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and held it up to the elevator controls as he stepped forward.

The elevator doors opened again as House could see the patient, who was walking away down the corridor, turn back and glare at the two.

" 'Allo!" The Doctor continued to grin as he walked out of the elevator. "Wouldn't mind following us, would you?"

The patient looked at the two strangely then turned back around at them, quickly closing.

"Cane!" The Doctor suddenly shouted.

House looked down at his cane as the Doctor snatched it out of his hands and quickly hit the patient over the head with it as it hurtled towards him aimlessly. The patient once again winced in pain and fell to the floor as it lost balance grabbing its head in pain.

"Run!" The Doctor grabbed House's hand as he threw him his cane and headed down the corridor.

"I'm a cripple!" House tried to hobble down the hall as he was being yanked forward by the Doctor.

"Hence the cane." The Doctor looked around the corner. "Now, where's the cafeteria?"

"On the bottom floor. We could have taken the elevator but it seems we ditched that idea." House looked around to where the patient was gradually getting up from the floor again.

"No," The Doctor looked down the corridor. "We need him to follow us. We'll take the stairs." The Doctor ran over to the fire exit door.

House remained still as he just glared at the Doctor. "Crippled!"

The Doctor looked back at House as he opened the door to the stairs. "Oh, just take a couple more Vicodin! And hurry up!"

House shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out his bottle of pills as he hobbled to the fire door stairs and chucked down another pill. Looking down the hallway he saw the patient running towards him as he quickly closed the door and headed down the stairs after the leaping Doctor.

As he hobbled down the third flight of stairs House heard the dull clang of the heavy exit door closing above him.

House cringed in pain as he hopped down the last two stairs and went down the next flight. He heard the buzz of the sonic screwdriver and the unlocking of a door below him as the Doctor looked up at him from a flight below.

"Come on!" The Doctor held the bottom door open. "Hurry up!"

House looked up quickly as the footsteps above him came closer and closer and bit his lip as he shuffled down the last two flights. Quickly House got to the bottom level as the Doctor held the door out for him as he ran into the hospital corridor.

"Which way?" The Doctor closed the door and looked at House.

"That way." House indicated down the hall as a huge thud was heard behind the huge metal exit door.

"Won't take him long to get through," The Doctor looked back at the door as it shook. "Come on then, alonzi!" The Doctor ran down towards the swinging doors at the end of the hallway as House rolled his eyes and followed on disgruntled.

The Doctor came to the swinging doors as he pushed them open and looked in.

"Ah." The Doctor's face fell. "People."

The Doctor looked around the swarming kitchen as one of the people looked at him blankly then shrugged and walked past, chucking a cigarette in his mouth as he headed to the back door. Looking again around the kitchen the Doctor finally found what he was looking for.

"Fantastic!"

Suddenly there was a huge crash behind them as the fire door burst open and the patient rushed out into the corridor.

The Doctor looked back than ran forward into the kitchen. "Come on!" The Doctor yanked the disgruntled House forward once more and headed to the huge metal door of the freezer, weaving past a few startled kitchen workers.

The Doctor scanned the metal door with his screwdriver. "Hold the door open for me."

"What?" House looked up at the patient as he ran smacked through the swinging doors then back to the Doctor as he opened the huge door of the freezer.

"Just hold it!" The Doctor swung the door to House as he stood in front of the open freezer, the cool air wafting out as the patient darted straight to him.

Suddenly, as it seemed the patient was going to knock the Doctor straight into the freezer the Doctor stepped slightly to the right. The patient quickly tried to stop but its momentum was too much and brought it hurtling straight into the freezer.

House quickly closed the huge door with a dull clang and lunged over to the temperature dial and quickly turned it down to the lowest possible degree as the Doctor pulled out his screwdriver and sealed it shut.

House and the Doctor both leaned on the metal door as they tried to catch their breaths, listening to the faint banging on the other side of the door.

The banging stopped. Looking up, the Doctor saw that every single kitchen staff was staring at them with blank faces. "Sorry about that, just playing a bit tag." The Doctor tried awkwardly as the kitchen staff continued to stare at him. "And he has a bit of a thing for frozen chicken. Don't ask."

The kitchen staff stared at them for a bit more then one by one continued to work in confused silence, some pulling out their own cigarettes and joining the man outside.

House looked at the door then over to the Doctor. "Do you reckon that's enough?"

"Well," The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver and scanned the freezer door. "Only one way to check."

Opening the door House swung it open fully as the huge wave of freezing air hit them both. Stuffing his hands into his pockets to hug his jacket closer, the Doctor edged into the freezer as House followed suit, already feeling his breaths freezing the stubble above his mouth.

There, on the ground of the walk in freezer was the girl, now covered in white frost, lying alone in the cold.

"Just like a car battery in winter." The Doctor looked down at the girl sadly. "It's gone now. She's free."

House looked back up at the Doctor. "But what about the others?"

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**NB: Ahaha! Indeed! Well, that's it. The alien's killed. Yes, and I do mean that, it's not coming back. So if you're ever looking to kill something electrical, stick it in a really really freaking cold place, and it shall be dispensed of. Genius! Oh, and always remember, wack it with something wooden, cause anything conductible is a no no! **

**But yeah, next chapters the last one so that's sad. Cause you know, no House for like ages, no Doctor for twice as long. If only they would join forces…well, I can dream. Anywho, for my second last chapter wouldn't it be nice for some of you more silent types to drop a line and tell me what you think? I love all advice and criticism! (But if you give me bad criticism you find a sharp awakening one night…) Anywho! Please Review! Oo: that rhymed! **


	14. UPDATE!

**Huh? What's this then?**

Yes, I am very cruel and sadistic, because this is not a real chapter. Yes - don't get exctited. This is mearly me giving an announcement that after a few reviews asking when I will finish this story - I have penciled in my diary that I SHALL write the next chapter THIS WEEKEND!!

HAHAHAHAHA!! How's that for commitment!! Ok, so it's been a year...you know. But thanks for those few people who continued to review well after I had given up - this one's for you.

But what should you expect in the next chapter? Well, Cuddy for one. Cuddy, House, the Doctor, and a hell of a lot of explaining to do! But I shall be quiet now...don't want to spoil it for a, do I?


	15. Chapter XIV

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter 14**

"Ok then," Cuddy swallowed carefully as she sat behind her desk, fists clenched as carefully chose her words. "We've got a family in quarantine, along with two of our doctors; a whole floor shut down; three men in white suits who have been fried to death, not to mention a policeman; and a former patient currently being thawed by the CDC."

Cuddy looked up at House and the Doctor as they sat alone in her office, the Doctor biting his lip and House leaning back in his chair, his mind seemingly occupied with something else.

"What the hell just happened?" Cuddy asked, trying to be calm.

"Well - " House started but was cut off by Cuddy as she stood up, her voice became more frantic.

"I mean, is there anything _else_ I should know about?? A few more bodies I should dig up in the front patio? The Black Death being let loose? Cause, you know; right now I wouldn't be surprised at anything!"

"Cuddy – "

"There are bodies lying around my hospital, House! Bodies!!"

Cuddy breathed heavily as she tried to calm herself as she glared at House and the Doctor. "Listen. You need to tell me what _really_ happened. I need to know. Cause otherwise there is nothing standing between me and chucking you out to the cops."

House glanced over to the Doctor as he looked back at House.

"See the thing is," He said as he sat up in his chair and straightened up his brown tie with a swipe. "I'm an alien."

There was silence.

Cuddy stared in disbelief at the Doctor as she leaned on the table with two hands. She looked over at House.

"Ok, you're fired."

"Foreman and Chase were so much easier." House smiled wryly.

The Doctor quickly stood up. "Listen, I know this is a lot to take in, especially after we've been rampaging through your hospital but I _am _alien. And so was that patient. _Well_, the thing that took over our patient. It was the alien that killed the guards and the policeman, the alien that infected Alison Cameron, Eric Foreman and all the family."

Cuddy peered nonchalantly at House. "House, where did you pick this one up?"

House continued to sit back in his chair and puffed out his cheek. "He speaks the truth."

Cuddy raised her eyebrow. "You're seriously agreeing with him?"

House pulled up his cane and stood up from the seat. "You continue squabbling over the particulars with him, I don't care anymore. I need to check on Cameron and Foreman."

"You are not going anywhere." Cuddy said sternly as House reached out for the door handle of the office.

"Hm?" House looked back at Cuddy.

"You still haven't told me what the hell happened, you're not leaving me with this quack!"

"Oh, I just thought you fired me a second ago, so you no longer have any power over me. Don't worry, I'll find someone else, _mistress_."

"Yes," Cuddy smiled at House wryly "but because you no longer work here, you can't get into the quarantine."

"Huh," House raised his eyebrows as he put his hand on the door handle again. "you think the guards know that?"

"Tell me what happened!" Cuddy shouted as House opened the door.

"I'm an alien!" The Doctor pleaded to Cuddy.

"Oh, shut up!" Cuddy glared at the Doctor.

Suddenly, a group of policemen barged through the first doors of Cuddy's office as one officer grabbed House's arm, knocking the cane out of his hand and pulling his arm around his back while slapping on a cuff around his wrist.

"Hey!" House shouted in pain. "Careful there! I'm a cripple!"

The Doctor quickly grabbed Cuddy's hand and pulled back his jacket and shirt, placing her hand on the right side of his chest. But the policemen were now on him, one of the older officers mechanically blabbing their charges and rights as another slapped cuffs on his wrists and pulled him over near House who was jeering at his captor. "You know, I have a better pair of these in my office. Fluffy and pink – a lot more fun!"

The policeman pulled his arm higher up his back as House winced in pain. "Oh sorry, you're more of a leopard print man. I should have known!"

The Doctor was pushed out of Cuddy's office as House followed with his entourage of policemen into the foyer and out of the hospital.

Cuddy was left alone in her office. Slowly, she lifted her hand and looked at it in shock. She could swear she felt a heart beat on the right side of his chest.

But she couldn't have. There was no chance. It was physically impossible.

A realisation came to her can he looked up at the aftermath as people stared confused in the foyer.

Oh holy god. He's an alien.

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**NB: **

**I'm baaaaccck!!! Yes! Uni work won't stop me now! I have readers! Well, at least I think I do. But seriously, you don't know how fun it is to write House and the Doctor. My two fav characters ever, so thanks to those guys who convinced me to pick this up again, 'cos it's mighty fun! Though I should be studying. But enough of that! What's going to happen to our two doctors? Why have they been arrested? What will Cuddy do now that she realises the Doctor is an alien, and so was the patient? All this and more shall be revealed in the next instalment of**_** Caring is Creepy: Prisonbreak**_


	16. Chapter XV

Caring is Creepy – Chapter XV

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter XV**

"This seems to be the second time we've been detained in one day. Is this a record for you?" The Doctor stopped twiddling his thumbs as he lay down on the hard dirty mattress in the dark police cell to look up at House, standing as if on guard by the metal bars of the cell.

"Hardly." He grumbled.

The Doctor shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He was a bit peeved he didn't think of a reason to keep his sonic screwdriver with him. "It's my safety blanket!" – was the best thing he could come up with when faced with two brawly policemen asking him to empty out his pockets. They weren't amused. Although, they could have been annoyed at how long it took the Doctor to empty out his pockets. Some of the stuff in there he completely forgot he had any more.

"So," House limped back from the cell's bars and looked at the Doctor. "We've been charged with murder; I'm not really experienced in getting out of that one. Any ideas?"

"Not particularly…" the Doctor in strained thought. "In this case even experience doesn't help much. It's all up to pure luck, I've found."

House chucked his cane on the other hard mattress and sat down slowly as he handled his leg forward. "It's not like we can tell them it was all electrocution by alien. Plus they've got a kitchen full of illegal immigrants that saw us lead her into the freezer. Got any mind-altering skills?"

"Afraid not." The Doctor said blankly.

"Well, you're useless."

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Cuddy sat silent in the cafeteria, hands a nestling a cup of coffee as she tried desperately to come back to her senses.

_Apparently_, aliens exist. And apparently one just went on a murder spree in her hospital. And was killed in her cafeteria.

Cuddy quickly looked down at her coffee and pushed it away.

What was she going to do? House and the Doctor were charged with murder for god's sake, it's not like she could do anything. She wasn't a lawyer. But she could get a lawyer. That's it; she'd get them a lawyer!

But what would they tell him? The moment any talk of aliens came up, the lawyer would most likely run away for dear life rather than defend two guys flying way over the cuckoo's nest and who probably also wanted compensation for anal-probing.

Maybe they won't have to mention the alien. Maybe they could just say she had some sort of bare electrical wire and killed them with that. There weren't any security cameras so would anyone know?

Cuddy looked around the bustling cafeteria. What the hell was she thinking? Alien cover-ups? When the hell did aliens come into cover-ups? She massaged her temples. This cannot be happening. She must be going insane. But she did feel something. The Doctor _did_ have a heart beat on his right chest.

Or maybe she just imagined it, it was a short moment, and so much was happening…

"Bad news." A familiar floated in from behind her. Cuddy quickly turned around to see Wilson walking up to her table, hands stuffed in his white coat's pockets. He looked tired, his face dropped as if he had taken multiple blows.

He sat down opposite Cuddy. "They've all woken up from the comas." Wilson sighed.

Cuddy looked confused. "I don't get it, isn't that _good _news?"

"I thought so too," Wilson shook his head. "But there's a problem with them. And with Foreman, too."

"Foreman? But he wasn't in a coma."

"No, but he did have prolonged contact with the them."

Cuddy leaned in and sharpened her gaze at Wilson.

"Wilson, what happened?"

"I think there may have been _psychological _side affects."

"Like what?"

"Hallucinations." Wilson stared back at Cuddy. "Cameron, Chase, all the family claim to have seen the original patient in their coma; telling them not to trust her, that her body has been _invaded_. Then, when I mentioned House and the other Doctor being arrested, Chase and Foreman started going on about aliens." Cuddy suddenly felt a shot run through her. Wilson just sighed. Whether they have even more side-affects or it's affected their brain worse; I'm not sure. But all need to see a neurologist and a psychologist. I've ordered them all a CT, but of course they're all protesting…"

Cuddy sat rigid, perfectly still though her heart was racing at a thousand beats per minute. "Wilson…" she began cautiously. "What if – I mean… what if they weren't hallucinating?"

Wilson raised his eyebrow sarcastically. "You mean what if they were right? I'd say you'd been at House's Vicodin."

"It does sound like that, doesn't it?" Cuddy's heart sank. This was going to be very hard to explain. "But you see, the thing is; I think they're right."

Wilson's face turned deadpan. "Please tell me you are not serious."

"Listen, I know this is a lot to take in but that Doctor man was an alien. He had a heart beat on his right chest and that original patient; she was an alien too – or did the alien invade her? I don't know – the point is, we need to get to them and talk to them, cause I have no idea how I'm going to get them out of jail."

Wilson sat dumbly on the seat and glared at Cuddy, exhausted.

"Ok, that's it. I've been drugged by House, haven't I?"

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House stared up at the ceiling as he lay down on the hard mattress, hands behind his head. He glanced over to the Doctor on the other mattress, in the same position and in deep thought.

"Can you open locks with your mind?" House broke the silence.

"No." The Doctor sighed.

"Can you hypnotise the guards?"

"Nup."

"Can you beam us up to your mother ship?"

"Non."

"Can you send out a signal to your comrade ETs to get us out of here?"

"Niet."

"Can you get your ship to materialise here?"

"Nein."

"See; I told you. You're completely useless."

"Hey!" The Doctor looked over at House, somewhat hurt. "I'm not useless. I've gotten people out of these types of situations thousands of times. If I had my sonic screwdriver, we'd have been gone hours ago."

"And yet.." House sighed, "we're still here. What does that tell you?"

"It's not my fault the guards took my screwdriver." The Doctor tried to defend him self.

"Don't you think it shows you're a bit too reliant on your sonic thing?"

"Hey, _I'm _the one who made it!"

House shrugged. "Even if you did, what are you without it? Can you get us out of this cell? No. Can you get your ship over here? No. Useless."

The Doctor stared at House. "You can talk! What are you going to do? Knock the guards out with your cane? Throw your dry wit at them?"

"Don't worry about him." A voice suddenly appeared outside the cell. "He's just bored."

House looked away from the Doctor and saw Wilson standing in front of the bars, looking in at House with disappointment.

"So," Wilson sighed. "You've been detained. Again. I brought my cheque book but apparently they won't take bail because you killed someone."

"Hey," House raised is eyebrows. "It's not my fault she ran into a freezer."

Wilson stared at House in silence for as while then shifted uncomfortably. "_So_, according to Cuddy you've been having encounters of a Third Kind. Have you been changing your Vicodin to LSD?"

"Wilson." The Doctor bounded off the mattress quickly and went over to the bars. "I know you don't believe us, that's fine. But right now, we need to get out of here and the only way we can, is if you do us a favour. You need to call UNIT."

"UNIT?" Wilson looked confused.

"The United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. They have a base here in America cause, well, they're the UN. But I need you to get on to them somehow. Anyhow. They'll pretend they have no idea what you're talking about but you just have to tell them that Dr John Smith has been arrested. The Doctor is in jail. Tell them those exact words."

Wilson looked unsure and glanced over to House.

"Please." The Doctor tried again. "The only way House will get out of here is if you call UNIT."

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Wilson stared at the phone as he sat behind his desk, tapping his fingers next to his keyboard. There, on the screen of his computer a big blue page with the word UNIT stamped in the centre. On the bottom of the page, in fine write font was an address and phone number.

What if this was a joke? Aliens? They don't exist. But how could he explain Cameron and the family all having the same dream? How could he explain Cuddy, Chase and Foreman all being so fervent about it?

Wilson looked at the little white phone number again. He knew all this couldn't be true. He also knew he couldn't risk it.

Sucking in a deep breath he leaned forward and grabbed the phone, typing in the number from the screen.

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House was pacing up and down the small area of the cell. "So what's this UNIT thing going to do?"

"Help us, I guess. See, that's another good thing about me. I gots the connections!" The Doctor smirked.

House rolled his eyes and continued to pace. "If they're with the UN then I don't think they'll have much authority here. This is the US of A, we don't believe in that liberal, multilateral crap."

"Even though you sort of founded it."

House stopped pacing and shrugged. "We found things every day. That's what we do. I still don't see how they're going to get us ou…"

Suddenly there was a deafening bang.

The cell wall had just exploded.

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**NB: As you do…hey guys, hope you enjoy this longer chapter just before all new Doctor Who starts. YAY! Doctor Who!! Seriously cannot wait till Rose comes back. But, we've got a while till that happens. Anywho, hope you enjoy it, and please review! Please please please??**


	17. Chapter XVI

Caring is Creepy – Chapter XVI

**Caring is Creepy – Chapter XVI**

House's ears throbbed.

He was talking to the Doctor when suddenly a huge force hit his chest and everything went black.

It felt like time had stopped as House forced open his eyes. All he could see was grey as the air was full was bricks and mortar, disintegrated into dust. He saw something move in the corner of his eye.

"Caw!" The Doctor suddenly shouted as he flung the flotsam and jetsam off him as he sat himself up. The Doctor paused for a second as he tried to wave away the dust and squint into the large square of light now protruding through what was the back wall of the cell.

"Well," The Doctor coughed. "They certainly know how to make an entrance."

The Doctor rubbed his face then flicked his hand through his hair in a plume of dust then hauled himself up by the prison bars. Limping over where House lay, the Doctor looked down at him seriously as House stared at him blankly, the blood rushed out of his head.

"You ok?" The Doctor asked gravely.

"Yeah, I just needed to lie down. Come back in ten." House shot back.

The Doctor grinned. "Molto bene! Come on!" The Doctor shot out his hand and drew House up from under the shards of wood that was once the bed.

House looked down at the remnants of the cell as the Doctor pulled House's arm around his shoulder and held him up. "Looks like I'm gonna need a cane." House looked over to the Doctor. "So, is this your friends or just a freak coincidence."

"I'm hoping for the first…" The Doctor muttered as he again squinted into the light.

"Doctor?" A dark figure appeared in the light, bearing towards them.

"Are you the Doctor?" The voice said again as another dark figure appeared in the light.

"Wrong cell." House quipped instinctively. "He's two cells down."

There was suddenly silence as the two figures stopped moving. "Oh."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Oh, he's just pulling your leg. I'm the Doctor, I worked for UNIT under the alias of Dr. John Smith. You've come to pick me up?"

A dark figure moved forward and quickly came into focus as a soldier with a red beret. Facing the Doctor he saluted crisply.

"Sergent Kirk Banks from the New York battalion at your service Doctor, may I say it's an honour…"

"Never mind the arse kissing, what's up with the hole in the wall?" House cut in.

Sergent Banks looked over at House. "We were ordered to get you out jail, sir."

"And you thought blowing up the police station was the best way to do it?" House raised his eyebrows sceptically.

"It was a gas main explosion." Sergent Banks tried to hide a smile of pride. "A freak accident."

House still wasn't impressed. "So what happens now that we're out? We have to live on the run? Not sure you've noticed but my leg's a bit screwed."

"We've cleared you of the murder."

"How?"

"We have our ways." The Sergent smirked slightly. "Now, Doctor, if I can escort you out, we should get you out of here before the police and fire department arrive."

"Excellent!" The Doctor beamed as he shuffled forward with House. "And if you wouldn't mind giving us a lift to Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, that would be ever so kind."

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Cuddy rubbed her tired eyes and leaned her chin on her hand as she sat slunked in front of her desk.

"So you called them?" Cuddy looked over at Wilson who sat sprawled out on the couch.

"Yeah." Wilson said simply.

There was silence. Cuddy tapped her fingers lightly on the desk then sighed.

"What did they say?"

"They said they had no idea what I was talking about, but then again – it's what the Doctor said they would do."

Cuddy looked away. "Well, let's just hope he's right…"

"And you thought you could get rid of me…"

Cuddy looked up to see House standing at her office door, leaning on a generic hospital crutch with a giant smirk on his face.

"How the hell did you get out of jail?" Cuddy barked at House.

"Used the back door." He said as he sauntered in a sat down in front of Cuddy's desk. "I swear, the legal system these days!"

Wilson sat up in the couch. "So, where's the Doctor?"

"Don't know." House leaned back in his chair. "Probably flew back to Uranus."

"So," Wilson started cautiously, "He's an…"

"Alien?" House finished. "Apparently so. Guess I've seen everything now."

"Well, just to make everything clear, I haven't seen anything." Cuddy said forcefully. "I haven't seen or heard or done anything, ok? I don't want this coming back at me later when someone discovers you killed a girl. Cause you're you House, and god knows it'll come back up one day and I don't want any part of it."

"Well," House began to pout. "I certainly don't feel supported."

"Shut up." Cuddy growled. "And go see your lackeys. At least they'll be happy to see you're back."

"Don't deny it." House smirked. "I know you love me."

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House wandered down the hospital hallway when he got to the janitors closet. Quickly, House peered down the hallway and back again, then opened the closet door and walked inside.

The TARDIS stood where it was, but now a faint warm hum was coming out of it. The Doctor was leaning against it, arms crossed as he watched House enter the room.

"So," The Doctor started. "How are the others?"

"They weren't that surprised I busted out of jail, but they were all worried how the family would take to the news of the girl."

"What did they tell them?"

"A guy in a red beret came in, told us she had a seizure and died from an extremely rare disease, which had also killed the policemen and CDC officials."

"Hm." The Doctor raised his eyebrows slightly. "Neat."

There was silence. The Doctor glanced over to the TARDIS and shifted a little. "So…"

"What?"

"I was just thinking…"

"I should go with you on a little trip?" House smirked.

The Doctor suddenly looked embarrassed. "I…no. I was just going to say that was a fun time. Sorry."

"A fun time?"

"Well, yes."

"Five people dying is your idea of a fun time?"

"Well, no. Of course not. But I mean…You're just annoyed I didn't invite you into the TARDIS."

"Frankly, yes."

"I just don't think I should travel with anyone for a while – "

"Hey, I get it - "

" – I just think I need some time alone – "

" – I'm happy here."

"Happy?"

"I happy when I'm miserable."

The Doctor smiled lightly. "Well Dr. House," he got up from the TARDIS and walked over to House. "It was a pleasure to meet you. And, may I say – you're quite intelligent. And that's something, you know, coming from me."

The Doctor and House shook hands.

"Thanks for freaking the pants of my colleagues. Although, maybe not Chase. I actually think he came a little."

The Doctor grimaced a little then walked back to the TARDIS and opened its door.

"See ya later Doctor." The Doctor wandered in.

"What you going to do now?" House shouted out after the Doctor, who popped his head back out of the TARDIS door and grinned.

"I'm thinking I might hang around hospitals for a bit. Hospitals are fun!"

And with that, the Doctor closed the door. A smile crept up on House's face as a churning noise filled up the room and the TARDIS began to pulse in and out of reality. A gust of wind blew House's face and with a screech, the blue box was gone.

Now alone in the room House tapped his metal crutch on the floor then stuffed hand into his pockets, drawing out his bottle of Vicodin.

"Man," House sighed as he stared down at the nearly empty bottle. "This is good stuff."

_The End._

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**N.B: That's right! It's the end! Jesus, finally completed this story! Took long enough. Anyway, I think that ending fits nicely in to what happens next ("Smith and Jones", hospitals – geddit??) so I'm quite chuffed with that. **

**Hope you guys enjoyed the story though. If anything it made me want to see to two Doctors together in a real episode! But, I guess that's the point of fanfiction. What a wonderful thing it is! **

**Anywho, thanks for waiting, and thanks for reading. Quick shout all for all you guys who kept with the story through its ridiculously long lifetime. Just shows that I only really get the urge to write fanfiction when I really really shouldn't – exam times. Go procrastination! **

**Anywho, cause it's the last chapter, you think you could review? Pretty please? That would give me a reason not to study maths, which is always good! so REVIEW! This is greypilgrim26, signing out!**


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